School Sucks
by MsDelightfullyInsane
Summary: When the Cullens, Jacob, Leah, and Seth move to Wichita, Kansas to start anew, they are quite surprised to meet another vegetarian coven that seems quite hostile. They are also shocked to see they are being watched by the aggressive Volturi...but the question is why?
1. The Morning

**Hi! It's me MsDelightfullyInsane, formerly prettylittleliars21! Sorry this chapter is late, but I forgot my notebook with the first chapter when I went on vacation, and last week I was banned from the computer from my mother. Then she grounded me for another week, and then when I was finally able to use the computer, it can't turn on because the adapter is broken. So then we wait for about five days to get it, but then we took a weekend trip and forgot the computer. So, blame her.**

**Also, I'm sorry I only have two chapters for you guys to enjoy, but I will have more soon, I don't know when. Welcome to the new and improved School Sucks!**

**Disclaimer: You know what, I won't even bother to say the whole thing. No, I don't. That's all you're getting.**

* * *

**Bella POV:**

Edward and I were sitting in the living room at the main Cullen house. Jasper and Alice were flipping through TV channels, although we all know nothing good is on at 7:30 in the morning. Jacob and Renesmee (we ALL call her Ness or Nessie now) were on the chaise across from the sofa Jasper and Alice were on. Emmett and Rosalie were upstairs doing only-God-unfortunately-for-Him-knows-what, while Carlisle and Esme were in the kitchen making breakfast for Jake and Ness. Edward and I were in the middle of an intense game.

"One, two, three, four, I declare Thumb War!" I chanted.

A very intense game indeed.

I was somehow winning, 4 to 0. Maybe because I have mad skills, or because I might probably, possibly, perchance be distracting Edward with my not-so-G-rated thoughts.

I think it's my mad skills. Ha! I won again!

"Bella. This is completely unfair. You are abusing your power." Edward said.

"Edward," I said in mock hurt, "Why me? Cheating? I'm hurt. Alice, did you see me cheating, or as Edward rudely put it, 'abusing my power'?" I turned to her with wide, innocent eyes.

"Bella, I haven't seen you do a thing. I mean, you are my best friend and I know you would never even think about cheating, especially against Edward." She responded, also sporting the wide, innocent eyes look.

"Jasper, what about you?" I asked.

"Bella, I didn't see a thing." Jasper said with a knowing smile.

"Jacob? Ness?"

"Bells, I've known you for years, and I know you wouldn't cheat," Jacob said smiling.

"Mom, it's you. Enough said," Renesmee finished.

"Traitors, even my own daughter," I heard Edward mumble.

"One, two, three, four, I declare Thumb War!" I chanted for the last time. I started assaulting Edward's mind with my thoughts. He faltered and I pinned his thumb underneath mine.

"Woo! And the crowd goes wild! Bella Cullen, champion of the world!" I yelled, mimicking the noise my imaginary crowd would make.

"Thumb wars are stupid," Edward mumbled to himself, obviously annoyed.

"Oh, come on Edward. It was a stupid game for kids!" I said, amused with his annoyance.

"Exactly. I'm fucking 207 years old and I can't win a kid's game!" Edward exclaimed, pouting at the end.

We've really matured, haven't we?

Emmett and Rosalie came downstairs, with satisfied/utterly disgusting smiles on their faces. Rosalie looked wonderful in her red long-sleeved blouse and dark-washed jeans, while Emmett wore a blue sweater and black jeans.

"Morning, ladies and dogs! Isn't it a great morning?" Emmett said.

"Oh, shut up, Emmett!" Everyone, including Carlisle and Esme, said in unison.

When Edward said Emmett and Rosalie were the most physical couple, he wasn't exaggerating. It is actually disgusting how many times we must hear about Emmett's various sexcapades on everyone's property except his own. In fact, his new favorite past time is teasing Edward and I on our sex lives, or to him lack thereof. Well, sorry we aren't all sexual deviants.

What? We aren't.

Don't look at me like that.

Okay, maybe a little.

Fine, we are fully, Jesus! Give me a break!

Jacob and Renesmee had finished eating through my whole whooping Edward's ass at Thumb Wars episode. Edward glared at me. Oh. Must have forgotten to put up my shield again.

"You are correct, love," Edward said. Uh…sorry?

"You have nothing to be sorry for, Bella." Aw, he's so sweet.

"You can be afraid however, since I do plan on getting back at you." He said, looking proud of himself. I gulped. I've learned over these past 100 years not to get pranked by the Cullens, especially the boys. They have no mercy. They would prank God, for Pete's sake.

"Whatever you say," I said in a sing-song voice, trying to look indifferent. No need for him to know I am actually terrified.

"Bella?" He said.

"My shield was down again, wasn't it?"

"Yup."

"Damn."

* * *

Bella POV:

We all piled into our Acura MDX, with Edward driving and me in the passenger seat with everyone else in the last two rows of seats. As we peeled out of the garage, a wretched song came on, which Emmett happened to love.

"Wake up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy." He started.

**(AN: I know, I know, you are thinking: How the hell can someone actually hate that song? I'll tell you why. I don't nor will I ever like Ke$ha, so suck on that. KEEP READING)**

"Emmett, I swear to God…" Edward trailed off. Em ignored him and kept screechi- I mean, singing.

Edward and I tried our best to ignore him. I saw Renesmee and Alice rolled their eyes at Emmett, but were quietly singing along. Jasper was rubbing his temples through the rear view mirror.

Rosalie said while gesturing towards Emmett, "Why do I put up with this?"

"The real question is, _how_ do you put up with this?" Jacob retorted. Emmett, although he looked pissed, ignored us and kept shrieki-I mean, singing.

Jasper finally spoke up. "Emmett, I swear to God if you don't stop singing, you'll regret it."

Alice piped up saying, "You should listen to him, Em." But Emmett ignored them both, and instead of stopping he looked directly at Jasper and sang the chorus of the pathetic stringing together of notes and "lyrics" the teenage generation considers music. (AN: Don't you sort at me. I'm 12 and I believe this. You know it's true.)

"That's it, Edward, stop the car." Jasper said.

"Why should I st-"

"EDWARD, STOP THE GOD DAMN CAR." Jasper yelled.

"Fine, Jesus, no need to shout." Edward put the car gently to a stop. Jasper got out of the car and dragged Emmett, who was still squawki- I mean, singing, out of the car as well. Jasper took Emmett's backpack out of the car, and kicked it towards the forest, most likely sending it 1000's of miles away. Jasper next did the same thing with Emmett. He landed with a thud. Jasper walked back to the car, breathing in calming breaths, and sat back down in his original seat. He looked toward Edward.

"Okay, Edward, you can go back to driving again."

"But what about Emmett?" Edward asked.

"Eh, he's got legs." Jasper said nonchalantly.

"But what about-"

"DRIVE, Edward."

"Once again, shattering my eardrums with the shouting." Edward mumbled, although we all could hear.

Renesmee tapped Rose on her shoulder. "Rose, don't you feel any amount of worry for your husband? Or anger at Jasper for kicking him a couple hundred miles away?"

"Nessie, as much as I love my husband and the fact that I would die a horrible, lonely death without him by my side, sometimes he pisses me off. Especially, when he sings Ke$ha songs," Rosalie told her.

Ness shrugged, and sat back down. Then her ears perked up. "Ooh, Black Eyed Peas." She turned up the radio, and we all started dancing, even Edward, to I Gotta Feeling.

What a way to start school, huh?


	2. The School

Hey! Happy April 2nd! Sorry it took so long for this chapter to come up, I actually wanted it to come up a few days ago, but I'm lazy.

Thank you so much for your reviews, keep them coming! And, if any of you guys think this story is getting lame AT ANY POINT, you need to PM me so I don't go all "After-School Special" on you.

Disclaimer: Seriously? Again? Dude, you and I both know I don't own Twilight. SO STOP ASKING.

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**Bella POV:**

We pulled into the school's parking lot right after I Gotta Feeling ended. People were already looking at our ostentatious car, whispering about us.

"Whoa, look at that car."

"Must be rich kids."

"It would take years of babysitting for just the tire of that car!"

**(AN: I'm gonna switch to Edward POV 'cause it's funnier to hear the thoughts, which if you morally have something against perverted thoughts, you should skip over this.)**

**Edward POV:**

Ugh. I could already hear the thoughts about our family, but more importantly, my wife and daughter.

"_My God. I would let that boy molest me."_ That one was for Emmett from some girl.

"_Jesus Christ, I could just imagine that blonde hair tangled in my fingers after a good, hard fu-" _I'm cutting that thought off there. Guess who he was thinking about?

No, don't scroll down. Guess.

GUESS, READERS, GUESS.

That's right folks.

JASPER!

I know, right? Sick. I don't have anything against gays, it's just, you know. Wow.

**(AN: Seriously, I have absolutely no problems with gay people. They are just as awesome as the rest of us. SO, for future reference, know that I have nothing against gay people or any races for that matter.)**

God. I never want to hear gay thoughts about my brothers. Ever. It's just _a bit _strange. (insert-sarcasm-here)

Just a bit.

Anyway, after those mind-scarring thoughts, I listened some more to see if anyone was already suspicious of us. You never can be too careful, especially when it comes to my family. They are too important to me.

**(AN: See? Now Edward isn't so OOC. He just loosened up a bit, but he's still a gentleman.)**

**(AN: I gotta stop author's notes in the middle of the story, like I'm doing right now.)**

"_Wow, they're beautiful. I wonder if they're nice?"_

Huh. It's nice to hear that not all teens are rude or selfish or perverted.

"_The new kids are hot! Bet if we teamed up, we would rule the school! Especially with the bronze haired guy at my side. Man, the things I would let that boy do to me."_

Oh, for the lov-. Sorry, I think I threw up in my mouth a little.

"_Holy crap! That blonde haired chick is hot! It looks like she is with that big guy though. I already heard about their family, it's been going around the school. They were all adopted and somehow they all fell in love with each other. It's like their parents are matchmakers. But I gotta have that girl! I mean, look at her ti-"_

STOPPING THERE.

"_Shit! Look at that pixie girl. She looks so small, but I bet she would be great in bed."_

Sorry, I had another baby barf.

"_Sweet Jesus! Look at the bronze-haired girl! She is smoking. I would so hit that. Wait, why is that big Indian guy glaring at me? Oh, she must be his. Whatever, she can't love a big brute like him. I'll have her soon enough, he doesn't scare me."_

I was glaring at him too, but I stopped so I could stop Jacob from planning his murder for thinking of Nessie like that. Only Jacob could think of her like that. (To my chagrin)

Also, question. If you are human and not scared out of your wits, is it normal to be sweating bullets and having a wet spot slowly staining your pants?

That's what I thought.

"_Whoa. That Indian boy so gorgeous. I bet he would look even more gorge if he was naked, with water slowly running down his beautiful ski-"_

Third baby barf of the day.

**(AN: 'Gorge' is slang for gorgeous, which I think is dumb, no offense to all who say this)**

"_Oh my God. That brown-haired girl is so sexy. Wait, is that the guy she's hooked up with? Man, I am so hotter than him, I was voted hottest guy in the school! She'll be begging me for a real man's loving by the end of the week."_

I growled, furious. A real man? I'm 207 years old, douche bag. And frankly, my Bella already knows a real man's loving.

Sometimes I am so glad Bella can't read my mind. I say so many ungen-

"-tlemanly things?" Bella said.

"Was I thinking out loud?

"Right after you growled."

"Damn."

* * *

We went into the school to get our schedules, and I just asked Bella to shield me in order to stop the possibility of me becoming the first vampire in history to vomit. So now, I was listening to my Bella's wonderful thoughts. If I could control it, I would want to listen to Bella's thoughts all the time.

"So Edward, what are thoughts like? Anyone suspicious?" She asked out loud.

"No, just horny."

"Are they thinking about you? If they are, I swear to God I will murder them with absolutely no mercy."

I growled playfully. There is nothing sexier than a mad/jealous Bella.

What? Hard to believe that Edward the prude is thinking like this? Well, what can I say. Only Bella could make me think like this.

"Edward?"

"Yes, love?"

"You seriously gotta stop thinking out loud."

"What?!"

"Yeah, seriously you have been thinking out loud for the past two minutes. And thanks for thinking I'm sexy when I'm angry."

"Did anyone hear?"

"You're lucky no one did, except for one."

"Who?"

She looked at me with pity and amusement in her eyes.

"Who?" I asked, urgently.

"Ness."

I looked at Nessie, who had an expression of disgust and shock.

"Sorry, sweetie."

"I don't wanna talk about it." She snapped.

* * *

We made our way into the office, except for Nessie, who went to the bathroom to go vomit and Jake went with her to hold up her hair.

Don't ask me how he got into the girl's bathroom.

The family was concerned about her, but Bella (while laughing her little ass off) told them not to worry.

The secretary was a man named Dick Hertz. It took about 10 minutes for Emmett to calm own enough so we could actually go inside to get our schedules without him laughing. Dick looked at us (even I admit it was funny to say) and gasped at our beauty. Well, he gasped at Alice's beauty. I heard his thoughts.

"_Oh my Lord. That girl is soo…beautiful. But is she with his blonde guy? No matter, I'll show her I'm better than him. I mean, c'mon. I have a job, so I'm rich, I got my degree, so I'm smart, and I'm devilishly handsome. I'm only 24, too, so I'm mature. She's probably stupid too, I mean no girl is that hot and smart. She'll be putty in my hands."_

O-kay. A bit uncomfortable here, you know standing in front of the secretary who is currently fantasizing about my favorite little sister. Jasper was already glaring (and plotting his death) at Mr. Hertz. Alice was smiling knowingly. She stepped up and leaned over the desk, making Jasper growl.

"Hi, I'm Alice Cullen, and this is my family. Edward and Nessie are my brother and sister, Emmett and Bella are the McCartys, Rosalie and Jasper are the Hales, and Jacob Black is also here. Can we please have our schedules?" She looked at him though her lashes.

He shot her a "dazzling" smile, that showed too much gum. _My smile should get her attention_. "Sure, sweetheart, is there _anything_ else I can give you?" _Like a night in my bed?_

"Actually, there's something I want to give you, something very important to me." She said, in her seductive (well, Jasper says) voice.

_I knew I would get her. Come to poppa, girl._

"A Tic-Tac. I never go anywhere without these, and you seriously need one." She dropped one in his hand, and skipped off merrily. We all followed her out smiling, except Jasper who was still plotting, and waited until we were outside to start laughing.

_A Tic-Tac? Why would I need…oh God, I do need one of these!_

_We all went our separate ways into class._

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_And there you have it! The second chapter of School Sucks! Now, see that review button? Press it and leave me one. Seriously. I only have like 4 reviews. DON'T BE SHY, JUST TYPE. Or, click the add story to favorites button or story alerts button. OR BOTH. IT WOULD BE AWESOMESAUCE IF YOU CLICKED BOTH. I'll update in maybe a week or two, but there should be at least 2 or 3 more chapters before May. Alright! Peace out!_


	3. Life Science

Hey. I have an author's note in the next chapter about why I have't updated in like three months, although I am so sorry kept you guys waiting. I have like 5 chapters in mind and I am going to update them as soon as possible. And fanfiction messed up the schedules, so read carefully.

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, but hopefully I will when my lawyers get a hold of Stephenie Meyer.

Bella POV:

Wow. I have been in this school for ten minutes and I think I can already sue for sexual harrassment.

So, before we actually went to class, although I said we went our separate ways, we compared schedules.*

Emmett: Rosalie:

1st Period-Geometry 1st Period-Geometry

2nd Period- Biology 2nd Period- American History

3rd Period- English 3rd Period- English

4th Period-LUNCH 4th Period-LUNCH

5th Period- Gym 5th Period- Biology

6th Period-Spanish 6th Period-Spanish

7th Period-Foreign Studies 7th Period-Gym

Edward: Bella:

1st Period-Life Science 1st Period- Life Science

2nd Period-Calculus 2nd Period- Calculus

3rd Period- French 3rd Period- French

4th Period-LUNCH 4th Period-LUNCH

5th Period-English 5th Period- English

6th Period-American History 6th Period- American History

7th Period- Gym 7th Period- Gym

Jasper: Alice:

1st Period- Geometry 1st Period-Life Science

2nd Period- English 2nd Period- English

3rd Period- Spanish 3rd Period- American History

4th Period- LUNCH 4th Period- LUNCH

5th Period-Biology 5th Period- French

6th Period- American History 6th Period-Calculus

7th Period- Gym 7th Period- Gym

Jacob: Renesmee:

1st Period- Geometry 1st Period- Life Science

2nd Period- Biology 2nd Period- French

3rd Period-English 3rd Period- American History

4th Period- LUNCH 4th Period- LUNCH

5th Period- American History 5th Period- Calculus

6th Period-Spanish 6th Period- English

7th Period- Gym 7th Period- Gym

Seth: Leah:

1st Period-Geometry 1st Period-American History

2nd Period- Biology 2nd Period- Life Science

3rd Period- English 3rd Period- English

4th Period-LUNCH 4th Period-LUNCH

5th Period- Gym 5th Period- French

6th Period-Spanish 6th Period- Calculus

7th Period-American History 7th Period-Gym

Okay, so before you guys' heads explode with confusion, I should probably give you guys some background info. So, it is about 100 years since "the-vampire-mob-that-has-been-stalking-us-for-a-year-tried-to-kill-us-because-they-were-jealous-of-Emmett's-unlimited-amount-of-sexiness" debacle was over.

Yeah, we made the mistake of letting Emmett choose the name.

Anyway, we moved to Wichita, Kansas after roaming the country for the past 100 years, with Seth and Leah coming along in about a month or so. They wanted to spend the rest of September in Forks, so they'll be back in October. Neither of them had imprinted yet. We have to get both of them caught up for September's work as well. Emmett, Alice, and I were the Swans. Edward and Nessie were the Cullens. Rosalie and Jasper were the Hales, and Jacob, Seth and Leah would be the Blacks.

Okay, so, we are now going to class. FINALLY. I mean, I can already tell it's going to be a long ass day.

So, Edward, Alice, Renesmee, and I headed over to class. There were about 20 tables for two. Edward and I sat together of course, and Alice and Nessie sat behind us so the lovesick guys wouldn't sit with them. Suddenly, I smelled five humans enter the room. I wasn't tempted or anything, but I looked up.

This is like that part of the movie where the popular chicks arrive and walk in slow motion, with their blonde hair blowing in the breeze, even though we're indoors.

Seriously, it is EXACTLY like that part of the movie. These girls are actually walking in slow motion (although everyone else is walking normal speed around them casting bewildered glances at the five blondes) and some geeky guy was walking backwards in front of them with a huge fan, so their hair would blow in the air. They were approaching Edward and mine's table.

Sigh. Here we go.

"So, like, listen new girl. Like, you are at, like, the popular, like, lab table, and if you don't, like, move, I will make, like, your, like, reputations, like, terrible at the speed of like, light." The apparent clique leader said.

One of the girls on her right leaned in and whispered (as if we couldn't hear), "Like, Cindy, I think you, like, left out a like at the end of that, like, sentence. Like."

"Like, really? I, like, totally thought that I, like, said it. Well, like, just to be, like, sure. Like!" Cindy directed the last word at us. But then, she looked at Edward and did a double take. Her expression went from angry to "seductive".

"Hey, hottie. I'm Cindy, the like, most popular girl in the, like, school! And the, like, hottest girl, like, too! You and I could, like, rule the, like, school! Plus, I like, know how to please, like, a man." She said the last part in a 'seductive' voice. Then, she made that tongue flapping thing, that implies a blowjob.

I growled at her.

"Sorry, he's dating me. And plus, he's not interested in sluts." I told her, my voice filled with venom.

"Then, like, why is he, like, dating you?" She said, in what she probably thinks is a clever way.

"Oh, look who made a joke. Listen, Blondie, Edward," I pointed to him, "is mine. Okay? So get your slutty ass and keep it away from him. He doesn't like you. And, don't think I didn't hear that little 'pleasing a man' comment, because the only way you could please a man is if you drop dead," I said.

Edward looked at me, shocked. But then he changed his expression to agreement.

"Well, why don't we, like, let Edward, like, decide for himself. I, like, know that he'll make, like, the right decision," Cindy said.

"Fine. Edward, choose." I said coolly.

He looked at Cindy, whose was trying to dazzle him by batting her (fake) eyelashes and making gross tongue movements.

Oh, God, I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.

Edward shuddered in disgust. Cindy smiled brightly. She must have thought he shuddered in pleasure.

Then, Edward looked at me. I looked at him, and I stretched out my shield.

_Edward, I know you are going to choose me, but if you take more the five seconds on this, you won't see me for a week._

Edward at first looked shocked, then horrified. "Bella," he said automatically. Cindy went from smiling smugly to frowning.

"What? How could you, like, choose, like, that over me? I'm, like, the hottest girl in school! No one has, like, ever rejected me!" Cindy sounded outraged.

Oh, this is fantastic.

"Well, Bella was right, I don't like sluts," Edward replied. I just adore this man.

He smiled at me. Oh! My shield must still be open.

"Like, ugh!" Cindy stormed off with her army of sluts behind her.

Whoa. That went better than expected.

The teacher walked in. Oh my God, this school sucks.

She walked in wearing a light green wrap, a neon orange shirt, and navy blue pants. The woman was obviously in her late forties, had bright pink lipstick on her lips, her teeth, and somehow her forehead.

I'm pretty sure Alice was having a heart attack and/or seizure behind me. I glanced backwards.

Renesmee was fanning what looked like a passed out Alice, who was clutching her heart in one hand and the desk in the other while hyperventilating.

Wow.

I looked back to the front. Our teacher was writing down her name.

She spoke. "Hello, class. My name is Mrs. Toad." Obviously. She reminds me of Dolores Umbridge. (AN: GO HARRY POTTER!)

"I will be your life science teach-" She cut herself off. Mrs. Toad was scanning the classroom while she was talking and caught sight of Edward. Oh no. She's looking at Edward with lust.

Dammit! What the hell is with these women after my man?

Edward chuckled.

I really have to start closing my shield.

"Uh, I will be your life science teacher for the year. Uh, how about we go around for names. Let's start with you, young man." She was trying to talk seductively during that last sentence, towards Edward.

I am starting to hate this school.

Edward looked so grossed out, that I was struggling to stifle my laughs.

Edward stood up and walked towards the front. "Hey, my name is Edward Cullen. I have a sister named Nessie, and adoptive siblings Jasper, Rosalie, Emmett, Alice, Jacob, Leah, and Seth, although Seth and Leah aren't here yet. I like to read, drive my cars at least 20 miles over the speed limit, and play the piano. I'm kind of old fashioned, you know, I believe in treating a girl well," he said. Well, this is fantastic. These girls (including our teacher and excluding Nessie and Alice) are eating this up. Hell, they all were sighing dreamily when he said treating a girl well. Now they think he's got that smart, bad boy/music virtuoso, gentleman thing going on. Plus, he's incredibly good-looking. Bad combination. "But there is one thing that makes my life worthwhile. My girlfriend, Bella. She's the sweetest, smartest, most caring and beautiful girl in the world. I love her more than life itself. So _none_ of you boys even try to talk to her," He finished. He was glaring at all the boys in the class during his last sentence. The girls were looking both disappointed and glaring daggers at me.

Aw. That's so sweet. I love that man.

I kissed his cheek swiftly once he sat down. Mrs. Toad looked-well, glared- at me. "Well, Ms. Swan, how about you go up next," she said icily.

Wait. Isn't she _Mrs. _Toad? As in, she's married? What the hell happened to her husband? Why is she going after mine?

"Um, okay." I stepped up from my seat and went to the front of the room. All the girls except for one or two were glaring at me and all the boys except for two were drooling at me. I guess those exceptions must be dating.

"Hi, my name is Bella Swan. I love to read, I hate driving too fast, and I like to sing and play the guitar. I can also play the piano, but I haven't in a while. (AN: My next fanfic will be about Bella singing and playing these instruments) Edward already explained my whole family situation, so I guess there is no point in saying it again, except for the fact that my sisters Alice, Nessie, and Rosalie are the best friends ever and my brothers are the best. I really love my boyfriend Edward, he's the best boyfriend any girl can even think to ask for. I really don't know what I have done to deserve him, but I know I will never let him go. He's such a gentleman, and he never gets bored of me, which is a fete in itself. But I warn you guys, don't even _try_ to break us up. We are both very jealous people with bad tempers."

The girls agreed with all of my insults toward myself, like about me not deserving him, and me being boring.

The boys started to either glare at Edward and drool at me.

"Okay, that's enough, Ms. Swan. No need to talk about your physical relationship with Edward anymore." Mrs. Toad said.

Wait, talk about my physical relationship? I never even mentioned it. Not that there isn't a lot to tell…

Stop, Bella. No need to get sidetracked.

"Okay, who's next? How about you?" Mrs. Toad pointed towards Alice.

She jumped up and ran to the front.

"Hi, my name is Alice Swan. My sisters and best friends are Rosalie, Bella and Nessie and my brothers Emmett, Edward, Seth, and Jacob are insane. I tend to get really hyper and I am practically a physic. I love shopping and my boyfriend Jasper Hale. I-" Someone interrupted her.

"Is Jasper Hale that hot blonde boy?" Some random girl in the back shouted out.

Alice's eyes darkened. "Yes. He is. And I am warning you, do not come near him. He is my boyfriend. Jasper is _my_ own personal southern gentleman, and I am telling you right now, he will not like you. Bye!"

Alice was speaking darkly until that last sentence. That girl in the back huffed out, "We'll see about that."

Alice growled quietly. She walked back to her seat. Mrs. Toad pointed towards Renesmee, who walked forward.

"Hello, my name is Renesmee Cullen. My twin brother is Edward, my sisters/closest friends are Alice, Bella, and Rosalie, and my brothers, Jasper, Emmett, and Seth, along with Edward are crazy. Don't go near my boyfriend Jacob," she also got cut off.

"Is Jacob that really buff Indian guy?" That random girl from the back asked.

"Yes, and _don't_ go near him. I will kill you. But anyway, I like to read, shop with Alice, and listen and dance to music." Nessie finished.

Mrs. Toad went through the rest of the class, and by then, class was over.

Well, this is going to be a fun day.


	4. Ebony With Sparks of Blue and Green

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**Hey. This is the next chapter. Read my new stories, Don't Mess With The Human's Man and Tonto the Talking Parakeet.**

**Don't ask.**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Twilight, then I would be too busy running down the streets shouting, "I own Twilight, bitches!" to write a new chapter.**

Bella POV:

It was time for Lunch. Whoop-de-frickin'-doo.

Edward, Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie, Renesmee, Jacob, and I were all walking there together. We had to stop and separate for a second though, because when we all tried to walk through the door at the same time, Jacob got caught in the doors.

Not the best entrance, but whatevs.

My family and I all sat at the table farthest away from the windows. But, we ran into some trouble getting there.

_Flashback even though it happened like two minutes ago:_

_"Hey, look, there's a table!" Jacob said. We already got our lunches, which smelled awful, and we were looking for a place to sit._

_"Yes, Jacob. And look over there, it's a door! And this is what we call a spoon!" Rosalie said sarcastically._

_We all snickered, except for Jacob who just glared at Rosalie._

_"C'mon, enough making fun of Fido, let's get that table," Jasper said. We walked over, but we quickly realized some jocks and a few cheerleaders were sitting there. They were oblivious to us as we came over and only looked up when we arrived. Alice spoke._

_"Hey, can you guys move? We want to sit here."_

_A cheerleader with red hair (and a stuffed, lopsided bra) scoffed and said, "No way, newbies. This is the popular table. The freak table is over there." The sad thing is that she was un-dressing Emmett with her eyes. "Except for you guys. You can sit here if you ditch the bitches." Ness, Alice, Rose and I glared at her. She flinched._

_"Um, no, Katie. These wimps should leave and these hotties can take your place," said a jock that was eyeing us like we were pieces of meat._

_The guys growled loudly. I suddenly felt a warm hand on my behind. I quickly turned around to see another jock grinning like an idiot. I slapped him. Edward snarled, grabbed his neck and lifted him into the air._

_"If you ever touch my girl again, I swear I will come after you in your sleep and chop your balls off. Do you understand?"_

_The jock choked out yes._

_Edward dropped him. He, along with the other jocks ran away in fear of Edward,, who was snarling loudly. Rose turned to the cheerleaders and barked, "GO!" They sqealed and ran away. We snickered and sat down._

Present:

We were 'eating.'

"Jacob, you should seriously consider losing weight," Edward said.

"Shut up, Edward. I do not need to lose weight. It's muscle, not fat."

"You know, it's weird. The last time I heard you say that we ended up paying another $900 for an extra seat on the airplane for your 'muscle'."

Jacob looked down and mumbled, "Shut up." He then proceeded to put a handful of fries into his mouth.

"Someone is an emotional eater," I muttered. My family cracked up while Jacob threw a fry at my nose. I took one of my grape tomatoes from my salad and threw it towards his eye. Jacob flinched, took a spoonful of Nessie's potatoes, and catapulted them towards me. Emmett took a deep breath, as if he was preparing to say something.

Oh shit.

"FOOD FIGHT!" He bellowed. He picked up my salad and launched it at Cindy, that bitch from the previous chapter.

"Bella!" Edward looked at me sharply. Meanwhile, a full blown food fight- screw that, food war- had broken out.

"What, Edward?"

He looked around. Edward ducked just in time to miss a bowl of gravy from landing on his head. But, I unfortunately felt something that smelled suspiciously like tapioca run down my back.

"Don't break the fourth wall." He whispered.

"You mean that wall that separates fiction and reality, that means that the fictional characters aren't aware that their entire lives are being read?"

"Yes," he whispered.

"But doesn't talking about the fourth wall technically break it an-," he cut me off.

"Look, let's just get back to the story," Edward suggested.

"Okay, then." I picked up my milk (that smelled sour) and chucked it at some random guy. I was about to pick up Alice's chicken, but I noticed Alice wasn't there in her seat. I then noticed some sniffling sounds coming from under the table. I crouched down. Alice looked scared, and she was rocking back and forth holing her knees with one arm and sucking her thumb.

"Alice, what's wrong?"

"Bella, you know I'm wearing my favorite pair of shorts today. I can not risk staining them."

"Um…I am going to go back up then…" She was honestly starting to scare me. She growled out that last part about not staining her shorts.

I stood back up only to have a face full of hamburger. Oh, that is it. I grabbed Nessie's soda, shook it, and threw it right into some girl's jaw. She fell right down. I crouched down again and walked over to the lunchline. There were food and drinks flying over my head, and I am pretty sure the entire left half of my body was covered with tater tots.

At least they have nice variety here.

I made it too the lunchline and grabbed some mac and cheese, but it landed on Edward.

Uh-oh. He looked directly into my eyes. There was a flicker of shock, recognition, and then mischief. Edward raised an eyebrow, as if to say: "Oh, really? You wanna throw food at me?"

I smiled sheepishly and shrugged, completely ignoring the flying food.

Edward leaned down towards a table. He picked up so-Oh no.

Oh no.

Oh nononononono.

He picked up…he picked up…

…LIVER!

He knows how much I hated liver when I was human! I would gag at the mere mention of liver. Imagine me now, when I am a vampire and disgusted by some of the most delicious human foods!

He's gonna throw it. I know he will.

He nodded.

I really have to start closing my shield. It's becoming a problem now.

I did the only thing I could think of.

Run (at human speed).

I ducked, and ran, trying to avoid the milks, salads, burgers, and other disgusting foods soaring above me. I even grabbed a random girl from Cindy's table and used her as a human shield. Literally. But, Edward was to fast for me, even when he limited himself to human speed. He threw the offending excuse for food. It was like everything was in slow motion.

One second, I am hiding behind this girls' back, which had a nice tattoo on it.

Next second, I have a face full of liver. I gagged, and squealed. I looked up at Edward. He winked at me.

Grr. I ran back to the Cullen table. By now, the lunch ladies ran out of the cafeteria, so it was just the students. Our table and another one that was not in use were flipped on their sides in order to act as a fort. I jumped in the rectangular fort. Jasper was next to me.

"Jasper, status report."

"Alice was taken down and put in the infirmary. She got a spaghetti and meatball sub to the torso."

I hissed.

"Emmett and Rosalie..er…left. Emmett said something about Rosalie looked hot with soda all over her. They are currently occupying the closet."

I gagged.

"Edward is still alive and well. His speed is working well for him."

I hissed again, thinking about the liver incident.

"Jacob is in the kitchen, eating. I think he is still stung about the whole emotional eating comment."

"Nessie is…well, Ness is the master. It's like she has machine guns for arms. Look." Jasper pointed to a table that was dead center in the cafeteria. Nessie was throwing food around like a mad woman.

That's my girl.

"Thanks, Jazz. Good luck."

"You, too."

We went our separate ways. I saw Edward with an armful of random foods pelting people as he ran. I think he was relying on his power too much. I took a package of M&Ms from the floor. I opened them and dumped them on the floor. They scattered over the floor, more so in Edward's direction. Since he was running at human speed and had his mind preoccupied, he didn't see them. Edward usually would have crushed them, but he was distracted, so he fell. The food was all over him. He looked up and scanned the lunchroom. He met my eyes. I mouthed, "We're even." Edward mouthed back, "Fine. Love you."

Aw. Even when he's covered with food he's sweet.

Ha. I said he's covered with food and he is acting sweet. I crack myself up.

I saw Edward shake his head.

Whatever.

Emmett and Rosalie burst into the cafeteria with major sex hair, wrinkled clothes, and bite marks on their necks. Emmett was wearing a shit-eating grin.

We need to send them to Tiger Woods' clinic. (AN: Ok, that was mean.)

I stood up, pointed to Em and Rose, and screamed, "New targets!" The food war stopped for a second as Emmett and Rose paled. Then, all the food was soaring towards them. I smirked. Jasper, Nessie, and Edward sent me thumbs up signs.

Emmett and Rose ran to the sides, already completely covered with food. The students resumed throwing food at each other. In my peripheral vision, I saw Nessie with six or seven cans of soda. The sodas were vibrating, so they were obviously shaken. Nessie started to run around the lunchroom. She threw a can of soda on the ground every few steps. The soda cans exploded upon impact. Kids were scrambling away from the soda, but unfortunately some of them were knocked on their asses by the explosion. Nessie was screaming and laughing maniacally.

Edward caught my eye and mouthed, "She takes after you, sweetheart."

I rolled my eyes.

One of the assistant principals burst into the room, about to bust all of us. But Nessie threw one of the soda bombs directly into his chest. The soda bomb exploded and the assistant principal flew into the doors and was knocked out. Edward looked at me again and mouthed, "But I think she got her throwing arm from me."

I rolled my eyes again and chucked a salad at him. He ducked just in time. Edward then stuck out his tongue and made faces at me.

I mouthed, "So mature," to him. He ignored me. But suddenly I saw a chocolate pudding cup heading towards me, so I had to end our silent conversation.

Jacob then chose this moment to bust into the cafeteria. He had about fifteen boxes of juice in his hand. He pelted Cindy, some guys who had hit on Nessie, and me with them.

Cindy was currently crying about her ruined clothes. It is a bad day to wear white, Cindy. It really is.

I took a plate of fries and threw them at Jacob's head. He had grease running down from his hair. He threw a burger at me, but I ducked and it hit Jasper. Jasper threw a chicken breast at Jacob, which landed in his mouth. He spit it out and said, "Ew! No one likes the chicken breast!"

Jasper rolled his eyes and threw some spinach at some of the guys eye-undressing/eye-fucking Alice. I threw a bag of chips at him and he turned around to glare at me. I stuck my tongue out at him. But he threw sushi at my face so I had a tongueful of sushi.

Great. Raw fish. I didn't even like this when I was human.

I ran back to the Cullen fort alone. I peeked a little over the table and surveyed the area. Jasper's face was completely red. I think it was jello. His torso was covered with macaroni and cheese and liver. He was currently skating on pieces of cornbread while pelting unsuspecting students.

Weirdo.

Rosalie was screeching as Emmett was using her as a shield. Rosalie was covered in a huge variety of foods as well as Emmett. She was trying but failing to retaliate against the other students. She was too busy trying to get the taste of human food out of her mouth.

Edward was still throwing food like a mad man. He was covered with soda and chocolate, which to my annoyance had all the girls drooling. I threw some slice of pizza at them. Edward smirked at me when he realized why I was throwing them.

Stupid, arrogant husband who I'm completely and irrevocably in love with.

Nessie is still throwing food like a- err, a food-throwing machine?

Sorry, couldn't think of any witty similes. **(AN: That's right, I have been paying attention in English class)**

Jacob was throwing food too, but not as much. He was too busy eating his ammo.

I raised my arm to throw some potato salad at Cindy when I heard a yell that could have cause a 4.7 on the Richter scale.

"NALIA DOREEN HAYWOOD!"

I, along with the rest of the cafeteria, turned around to see the angry, ebony with sparks of blue-green eyes of a vampire.

**DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUN! Go on my profile to see the exact shade of the mystery vampire's eyes. It's under the word, 'Force'.**

**Read and review!**


	5. Jacob Needs Some New Pants

Guess who's back?

Back again?

MsDelightfullyInsane is back!

Tell a friend!

Seriously. I really want this story to blow up. I have a lot of things planned for this story. It will be around 45 chapters.

Disclaimer: (In the tune of Go, Tell It On The Mountain) No, I don't own it! Tell everybody my sad story! No, I don't own it! Twilight is not mine!

* * *

Bella POV:

Edward, Ness, Jacob, Alice, Jasper, Alice, Emmett, Rosalie and I all gasped simultaneously.

A vampire? In Wichita?

Well, you gotta admit, it's the last place you would look.

But, how many are living here? Do they drink humans? I couldn't tell by the eye color. Are they a threat? Do they work for the Volturi? Why are her eyes that color? And most importantly, why is she yelling at this, 'Nalia Doreen Haywood'?

The food war had paused. All the students were watching the drama unfold.

Oh my God. There are six of them! Three women, three men. All dark-skinned and beautiful. The three women were obviously triplets. But that wasn't the strange part. Their eyes were not red or topaz or black. One pair was pure purple (AN: Link for eye colors is on my profile, it's under Eva), the second pair was silver (AN: Same link, under silver), and the last pair was the one we all first noticed, ebony with sparks of blue and green. The women were strikingly beautifully, although they looked relatively the same. The men were very handsome as well. The first man looked around 6' 2", had a clean, shaven head, and a goatee. He was built, but then again he wasn't a muscle man. He had a reasonable build, maybe a little bigger than Edward's perfect build. He was also sporting a nice hat.

What? I think we should all take time and appreciate quality hats.

Anyway, the second man was around 6' 2", had dreadlocks down to the tops of his shoulders, and was bigger than the first man. He had a thin beard. The third man had the largest build, which was a little bigger than Jasper's, yet smaller than Emmett's huge build. He also had dreadlocks past his shoulders, but not all the way down to his waist. The men were the only one with topaz eyes, so I guess that answers the feeding question for them.

Wow. Good-looking guys.

But then again, Edward is the hottest man on this planet.

But if I didn't have him…I think I might go for these guys. Edward snarled. I glanced at him and realized for the billionth time that my shield was down. I put it back up again with little effort. Over the years I have been able to control it better.

I whispered to him and said, "Just kidding. You're the only one for me." Edward calmed down, but was still tense from the whole, "Oh, shit! Vamps are in town!" thing.

The snarling vampire (the one with the ebony eyes) opened her mouth to speak.

"What the fuck, Nali? I just come into lunch to relax over the whole _new student issue _and what do I get? A tray of spinach to the stomach. God, sometimes I wonder if you were dropped on your head," she yelled.

"_You_ dropped me on my head!" 'Nali', the girl with the purple eyes shouted back.

"Yeah, 'cause you pissed me off!"

"I was just going to borrow it!"

"Nali, you know way better than to take my Audi A3 and expect to keep some brain cells!"

"It's a car!"

"If it makes you feel better, I meant to run your ass over," Ebony-eyes-girl said.

"Thanks," 'Nali' shot back sarcastically.

Wait, what did Ebony-eyes-girl mean by 'new student issue'? Did she mean us?

Ebony-eyes-girl scanned the lunchroom to see everyone staring at her.

"What?" She barked out. Everyone jumped and went back to throwing food. Ebony-eyes-girl marched over to our table, dodging the food as quick as humanly possible. The other five vampires followed behind her, not even bothering to dodge.

"Outside," she said. We could tell it was a command, not a request.

"And why the hell should we follow you?" Jacob said rudely. Ebony-eyes-girl only smirked.

"You already are." What? What the hell did sh-?

Oh. My. God.

We were already standing and now we were walking. What the hell? I don't even remember standing up! Now we're walking? The family looked at Edward incredulously.

"I-I-don't know. I can't tell by her thoughts." The rest of the family had looks of shock and fear. We looked at Jasper.

"I can't get a good read on her emotions. They're changing too fast."

We looked at Alice.

"I can't believe I didn't see this." I'm sure now we all had looks of absolute terror on our faces. I swore I heard a snicker. Within two minutes, we were out the door and outside near the parking lot. Ebony-eyes-girl spoke.

"Listen. We already have too many mythical creatures around here. You can stay but if you guys slip up, I will personally kill you. We just moved here and I don't wanna move again."

Her voice was harsh, but beautiful at the same time. It was like hearing the tones of a finely tuned piano. (AN: Yeah, I didn't know how to describe her voice)

Edward stepped up, and spoke. "I understand if you want us to keep from slipping up but that gives you no right to-"

"Shut up, Ed-wart. I know what you're going to say, and I honestly couldn't care less. Don't mess with me or my family."

How the fuck did she know Edward's name and why did she call my man Ed-wart?

"Hey, you can't-" I started.

"What the hell did I just say, Smella? I don't give a fuck," she said.

Did that bitch just call me Smella? Jasper spoke.

"How do you know our-" She cut him off.

"Names? That's for me to know, and for your punk asses never to find out, Jizz-per." Emmett, Rosalie, Jacob, Ness, and Alice opened their mouths to yell but Ebony-eyes-bitch spoke.

"Okay, Tard-face, Blondie, Marmaduke, Tinkerbell and Little Miss Half and Half, chill out. Just stay out of my way."

Ebony-eyes-bitch stormed off, but Rose grabbed her arm and pulled her back. "Hey, you honestly don't think I will let you say that to my family, do you? I'm not gonna let some little rude bitch talk to us like that."

Go Rosalie!

She was giving Ebony-eyes-bitch her worst glare that once made Jacob piss himself a little and Felix flinch. My family and I waited for EEB (Ebony-eyes-bitch) to recoil.

She didn't.

The ironic thing about Rosalie's mini-bitch fit was that EEB was taller than Rosalie by about one and a half inches, so she kinda towered of Rosalie's 5' 10 form.

"Listen to me, Pamela Anderson, I am not afraid of some blonde bitch trying to act tough. Fuck off," EEB said. EEB gave her a glare that blew Rosalie's out of the water. EEB turned to us and gave us the same glare. We all leaned back and looked away from her eyes. She walked away.

"I think I shit my pants," Jacob blurted. He reached behind his back.

"Yup, I did." We all took a step away from him.

The Cool-hat-guy spoke.

"Yeah, sorry about that. That's Zari, she's my mate. I'm Isaac. I know she seems a bit stubborn but-"

At that moment, a branch fell down and Isaac dodged it narrowly. He shook his head. "But, Zari's just looking out for you guys. She kinda has a sixth sense for danger."

"Is that her power?" I couldn't help but ask.

"No, she can-" He was cut off again. Zari stormed back in quickly without looking at us and grabbed Isaac by the pressure point between his shoulder and neck. He yelped.

"Ah, ah, ah-pressure point, pressure point, pressure point, pressure point…" Zari dragged him off. The girl with purple eyes took her turn to speak.

"Yeah. Uh, they're not the traditional couple. Um, I'm Nali, and my older sister Lani is the girl with silver eyes. This is my mate Nathan, and Lani's mate is Zane."

Nathan had the shorter dreadlocks and Zane had the longer ones.

"I'm just going to assume that Zari doesn't want to talk about her power, so I'll just tell you ours. Isaac can change appearances, Nathan can stop, fast forward, and slow down time but cannot change it, and Zane can paralyze people. The unique thing about me, Lani and Zari is that since we are triplets we have three powers each. I can kill people as well as reanimate them for a short period of time. I can also shoot energy blasts that can damage or heal people. I usually use the energy blasts for attacks, because using just my mind can be draining. Lani is basically mother nature. She can control the elements and the weather."

Rosalie looked confused. "But I thought you said you each have three powers?"

Lani decide to speak. "We do. We all share the power to use and abuse other people's powers. The only power that we can't use is Bella's, unless she opens it. If it's just on her, we can't use it."

I smiled a little bit.

Lani and Nali seemed a lot nicer than their sister. Their voices sounded like music as well. Emmett opened his mouth.

"Wait, prove it. There's no way you guys can have that many powers and not have the Volturi on your asses."

I rolled my eyes. God, Emmett, you're so stupid.

"Well, the Volturi try to stay away from us. They won't attack us unless we break the rules," Zane said. His voices was deep and smooth. It reminded me of a bass guitar for some reason. Zane looked around quickly, to see if any humans were in sight.

"I still want proof."

Zane blinked.

_Thud._

Emmett was frozen on the ground. I kicked him in the coconuts.

Not a sound.

Wow.

Zane blinked again. Emmett relaxed on the ground, and then cupped his balls.

"Dammit, Bella, that hurt!" Edward and I snickered. Lani picked up a ball of dirt and put it in her palm. My family watched fascinated as the dirt ball grew into a flower, burst into flames, had water flow down on it, and the leftover ashes blew away with the wind. She looked up. So did we. Clouds were slowly pulling away from the Sun.

"No!" We chorused. We couldn't let the Sun hit us! People were might walk by!

But, as the Sun came out, our skin didn't start to sparkle. It stayed the same. We gasped. Lani or Nali must have used Isaac's power to shield our skin. Rosalie grinned. I guess she felt more human. I glanced down at my watch. Huh. That's weird. It's not working. I looked up at the sun. It wasn't moving in the sky. It's like time stopped.

Oh.

_Oh. _

OH!

Nathan must have stopped time. Jacob, Ness, Rose, Em, Edward, Alice, Jasper, and I looked up, shocked. Nathan smiled. Then, my watched started ticking. The Sun started moving again.

"Wait!" I said. Everyone looked at me. "Before Nali demonstrates her powers, I have some things to say. One, do you guys know where Isaac got that hat?"

Nathan said, "I don't know. It's a nice hat, right?"

"Yeah, it is. I wanna get one for Edward."

Alice piped up, "I think I might have seen it at Saks Fifth Avenue."

Zane shook his head. "No, no, we checked the website, it wasn't there." Huh, I wonder if it's in Urban Outfitters…

I remembered the second thing I had to say. "Oh, wait, I almost forgot. The second thing I have to say is; not it!" I do not want to the guinea pig for Nali's power.

Everyone except Em said, "Not it!" almost immediately afterwards. I heard Emmett mutter, "Crap."

Nali shouted:

"_Death to Emmett!" _

_And Emmett was ashes on the ground.

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_Review!_


	6. No, He's Sleeping

**Wassup my ninjas!**

**I am posting this chapter for two reasons one: I am going back to school on the 13th**** and I might not have enough time to update (I am going into 8****th**** grade!) and I need to get ready to take the SHSAT, the TACHTS, and audition for LaGuardia arts high School and Professional Performing Arts High School. Yeah, I am a busy girl.**

**Wish me luck!**

**And two, I got a review from a dear fan:**

**SHE FUCKING KILLED MY EMMETT! THAT BITCH!**

**Um, luv everything but that.**

**: ( REVIVE EMMETT THIS INSTANT!**

**So…**

**Disclaimer: Trust me, if I owned Twilight, you would know. **

Bella POV:

Em is dead!

Ha, I rhymed. But seriously, Emmett is _dead_. Like, not living anymore. I can't believe my brother is dead.

It's not fair. Rosalie was frozen in her spot, staring at the ashes. I know how she feels. I remember that dreadful day when I thought Edward would be dead in Volterra. I shuddered.

Edward looked like he was in pain.

He must be remembering when he thought I was actually dead. That must have been torture if it's anything close to the pain I felt.

Rosalie wailed, and fell down to the ground. She clutched a handful of his ashes and let them fall from her hand. She began to sob.

Zari walked casually back outside, saying "Hey, why aren't you back insi-Oh, Nali demonstrated." She said it like a vampire gets stroke dead every day with a mere thought.

"Y-you mean he's d-d-dead?" Alice whispered out, stuttering.

"No, he's asleep," Zari replied in a 'duh!' voice, "What else would he be doing? What else would a pile of ashes be doing?"

I growled, along with Ness, Jacob, and Jasper. Our brother/ uncle/uncle-in-law was dead!

"What? He is. Do you want me to sugar coat it? Fine. He is pushing up daisies. He's met his maker. He's _literally _ashes to ashes, dust to dust. He's-"

"Hey! Don't talk about him like that?" Edward defended our late brother. I nodded.

"You just growled at me for saying he's dead! Now I can't use euphemisms! Okay! 'Roid Rogers over there has become _living challenged_!" Zari shouted.

Rosalie lunged at Zari. Zari looked indifferent. She just took a step back, and Rose landed on the ground. Zari stepped on Rose's hands so she couldn't claw at her feet.

Zari spoke. "Now, why would you attack me? Nali is the one who killed him! You should be killing her!"

"Thanks, sis," Nali said, rolling her eyes at her bitch of a sister.

"Yeah, but you are mocking his death!" Nessie said. We growled in agreement. Zari rolled her eyes.

"Who gives a shit! It's not like he's-" Zari started. But we cut her off.

The family (with the exception of Rosalie who was struggling under Zari's foot) crouched, and Jacob was shuddering violently, ready to phase at any moment.

"Oy! Listen! Jarhead isn't-" Zari started again, but we growled at Emmett's nickname. We pounced…

…and we fell, frozen to the ground. Dammit! Zari must have used Zane's power to paralyze us. But that just makes me wonder what her two other powers are.

"Now, listen." Rosalie was still struggling under Zari's foot. "Big Cullen is not dead!"

Rosalie shouted, "Then why are his ashes right there!" We couldn't move our eyes, but we know she was pointing to where Emmett last stood. Rose gasped.

"H-he's not there!"

"No freaking duh, Blondie. He's over there wrestling some grizzly."

At this point, we were released from Zari's hold. We first collapsed onto the ground, since we were last in our crouches, but then we looked into the forest right near the school.

And Emmett was there, as previously said, wrestling a grizzly.

We all rushed over, human speed, to Emmett, tackling him to the ground. Zari and her family followed us into the forest. We gave him a big hug. Rosalie pushed us all off of him, and showered Emmett in kisses. Emmett was stunned, but looked fine the minute Rose started to kiss him.

"Em, we thought you were dead!" That was Jasper.

'We're so glad you're not!" Jake.

"Thank goodness you're okay!" Alice.

"Yeah, Zari doesn't get a, 'Sorry we almost tried to kill you' or 'We were wrong'. Not even a, 'Awesome, Zari didn't kill you! Not that she was to blame in the first place, but whatever!' The black girl gets blamed for everything." Zari said to herself.

**(AN: Okay, AN alert. I know what you're thinking. "Oh, this author is racist!" But no, I am not. I am actually black. It's just that my family and I like to make all these jokes. Like whenever my brother and I blame my dad for something, he says "You're always blaming the black man!" I do not mean to be racist, so if this offends you, I am sorry. I do not mean any harm. All races are cool. I don't care if you are Muslim, Christian, black, white, Chinese, Jewish, gay, or purple. You're cool in my book. Please do not flame me for this joke.)**

I-is that the sound of tearing clothes I hear?

I glanced back to see Emmett ripping off Rosalie's bra. Oh shit, they're going to get it on right here! Ugh, gross! Have they no shame?

"Oh my God! Are they going to get busy right here? Now? That's at night! Or at least in a private area!"

"Hey, it's a free country, I don't need a private area!" Emmett exclaimed, shirtless.

"One, it's illegal, and two, I don't want to see _your _private area!" Zari snapped back. Emmett flung his (stained) boxers into Zari's face. And, as we all know, vampires don't pee or shit.

"AH! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! It got into my mouth! I kiss Isaac with that mouth! EW! LANI, BURN ME! BURN MY MOUTH! BURN OFF THIS FILTH! UGH! ARGH! YOU BASTARD! YOU SHIT-EATING MOTHERFUCKING DAMN ASSHOLE DOUCHE BASTARD!" Zari yelled. Suddeny, the boxers flew off her face into a tree, and she begain fanning herself. We bgan to laugh our asses off, meaning Zari's family and mine.

Wow, Zari's got a colorful vocabulary.

But wait, how did the boxers fly off of her face into a tree?

"How did the boxers-" I started.

"Wind." Zari said dismissively. "Lani, burn my mouth, you bitch!" I was shocked to hear Zari call her very own sister a bitch. But, I was too busy laughing to care.

"No way slut!" Lani chocked out during her laughter.

"Well, then fuck you, whore!" Zari lit her finger on fire. Literally. She must be using Lani's power to make fire, and I guess the only reason why it isn't burning her is because she conjured it.

She thrust her finger into her mouth and burned her tongue. She didn't make a sound, but in her eyes you could only see anger, pain, and desire for vengeance.

Readers, before you get all confuzzled, you should know that fire to us is like bleach to humans. It cleans stuff in little amounts (since the skin or the body part would just grow back), but too much fire would cause us to die.

Zari finished her mouth cleansing. She turned to Emmett, who was still laughing with the rest of us. "I will get you back, you little herpes sucker!" Zari stormed off, eyes ablaze with anger.

We stopped laughing after awhile, and we heard Rosalie moan.

And that readers, is our cue to go!

**And, sixth chapter is done! Review!**


	7. Let Him Regain His Pride, Esme

Look whose back! You can stop all the search parties, I am here!

You can also put down all your machine guns. I am very sorry for not updating.

Disclaimer: If I owned Twilight, Helen Keller would have heard me shouting it.

Bella POV:

After Rosalie and Emmett finished desecrating the sanctity of the parking lot, we rushed through the rest of our classes and got home. We decided to tell Carlisle and Esme the situation with the new coven.

_CUE FLASHBACK MUSIC:_

_We were on our way home from school. Edward, of course, was driving, I was in the front seat, while Alice, Rosalie, and Nessie were in the middle row and the rest of the boys were in the back row. It was silent, except for the radio playing Dynamite by Taio Cruz. I decided to speak up._

"_So, who is going to tell Carlisle and Esme about them?" My family already knew what I was talking about when I said 'them'._

_Alice answered me. "I think Nessie should. She'll be able to show them what happened in her view, and there won't be any misunderstandings." Alcee had a good point. But Renesmee looked wary._

"_I'm not so sure about that, Alice. I think we should each tell Carlisle the story," my daughter suggested. Edward shook his head._

"_Nessie, sweetheart, your aunt is right. You would be the best person to show Carlisle and Esme. It's very important that they see this exactly the way it happened. Then, Carlisle can tell us what we should do." Ah, Edward is such an amazing father. Jasper shot me an exasperated look._

"_God, Bella, calm down with the adoration and lust. I really don't feel like jumping Edward today," Jasper said. I growled, and Edward chuckled. _

'_Shove it, Jasper," I quipped. Alice gave me a fake glare. "Bella, don't talk to my man like that," Alice sad sassily. She even snapped her fingers in a Z formation. I fake glared back. "I'll talk to whoever I want, how I want, Alice," I sneered back. I heard Emmett chanting in the background, "Jerry, Jerry, Jerry!" Alice and I held our glares for a moment, and then busted out laughing. Renesmee gave us a strange look. _

"_So, I'll tell Carlisle then," she said._

'_Yup."_

_TIME FAST FORWARD_

We neared our new Wichita home. Esme had spent the last few weeks working her interior design magic on it. Let me give you a little background on where we live.

Cue the smooth jazz background music!

Our luxurious home has a light brown outer finish, with many bushes and trees covering the windows. We live deep in the forest, but we have a fancy driveway. Not like, in the middle of the forest, like Little Red Riding Hood's grandmother. I mean, we don't live in a fairy tale, do we? It's similar to the way our house was in Forks. It's in a place where no one else is, and where no one else would dare go.

The backyard of the house was overlooking a green, possibly polluted, definitely toxic pond. Seriously. This pond is freaking disgusting. But, the animals are surviving, so I guess its okay. Esme is trying to figure out what was giving the pond that neon-green, baby vomit-color. Jacob, Jazz and Emmett thought it was aliens. Seth, Edward, and Carlisle all think it's from the dead bodies they think are dumped in there every month.

On one side of the house, Esme has a gorgeous garden. It's getting tough for her to keep it growing, since it rains all the time here and the cold is around almost all the time. There is a large patio looking over the garden and the pond.

The foyer to the house is quite large with hardwood floors. As soon as you walk in, you can see the living room, which is fully furnished with nice tile flooring, cream and chocolate colored couches, and a very sophisticated-looking fireplace. Emmett calls it the non-living room, since most of the people in the house are dead. Sigh…that was not one of his best jokes.

The kitchen (a.k.a. Jacob's favorite room) is absolutely gorgeous. The cupboards are deep ebony with granite countertops. The appliances are all stainless steel. It is right next to the living room. The kitchen has several cupboards, a double oven, and a pantry.

From the kitchen is the dining room, which we obviously don't use very often. What are we going to do? Bring a deer in, put it on the table and get some straws?

Huh… that may not be a bad ide-

"Yes it is, Bella. It's a terrible idea," Alice said, already seeing the vision. I kinda forgot we were still in the car.

I huffed. Now, back to my description. Cue the music…again!

The dining room had a great view of Esme's garden and was spacious. It also has hardwood floors.

Then there are the bedrooms. Edward and I have the bedroom closest to Emmett and Rosalie, a.k.a. rabbits on Viagra and Extenze. No one wanted the room closest to Emmett and Rosalie's, so we drew straws. I told Edward not to choose the straw, but no…'I know what I'm doing, love. Mind reader, remember?'

Psh. Mind reader, my ass. I heard a low snarl next to me.

God damn, I need to control my frickin' shield better!

I swore I just heard Edward say yes…

ANYWAY…again…

There is a sitting room, too. It has a wooden storage system, leather brown seats, and a view of the forest. This room leads to the stairs. Right by the stairs is the desk, where Nessie can usually be found online.

Edward's and my room is…pretty. Edward thinks that pretty takes away from the rooms' manliness, but there's no other word to describe it. The windows give us a large view of the forest. The floors are hardwood, with a large bed and small sitting area. We have a flat screen and a desk with both of our laptops on it. The flat screen is on top of the fireplace. Edward has a portable keyboard up there, with his grand piano downstairs. He usually uses it whenever he is bored or when he has a sudden stroke of inspiration. Our bathroom is luxurious. The floors are an ivory colored tile, with a Jacuzzi, closet, and a separate shower with glass doors. The shower can fit more than two people. Trust me.

The other's rooms are similar to our room. They just have different color schemes. We all live on the main level of the house.

Basement time!

The family spends the most time down in the basement. The basement is huge, with carpeted floors, a fireplace, and a mini kitchen. There's a pool table too. But the best part is the MOVIE THEATER!

That's right. There is a movie theater that seats 15 people in our basement. It is the best. Every Thursday night my family and I go down there to watch movies. Unfortunately, last week we had to watch the Jonas Brothers concert on DVD, because Nessie is currently going through a phase that involves her liking terrible music. She is a grown woman listening to the Jonas brothers.

Sometimes I think I failed as a mother.

The patio is made from concrete and has an outdoor fireplace. The patio overlooks our fuck-awesome pool. It's a great pool. It has a hot tub with it, and there are sprinklers that spray water over the pool. There is stone surrounding the pool.

And that sums up the Cullen-Black-Clearwater house.

We pulled into the driveway and Edward parked his usually spot. We all climbed out of the car and made are way into the house. Nessie was walking slower than all of us. Jacob was literally pushing her towards the house. Nessie was obviously nervous. At first, she was just quietly whimpering, but then…she started screaming.

"NO! I don't wanna go! Don't make me go in there! I can't do it! Let Dad do it! I don't wanna go!"

Emmett then had to pick her up and throw her over his shoulder. She started to kick and scream.

"NO! NO! NO! Put me down! AH! Put me down! Don't make me go! I'm just a child, for God's sake!"

Emmett suddenly fell to his knees, clutching his coconuts. Oh, one of Nessie's kicks must have landed on…well, mini Em. He started crawling towards the house. Nessie started to towards the forest. Jacob ran in front of her and caught her. She was now currently over his shoulder, sobbing. Jacob was walking in front of us, still holding Ness, and I began to stroke her hair as she cried into Jacob's lower back.

Sometimes I _really _think I failed as a mother.

As we opened our front door, Esme was already there, waiting for us. She must've heard the car pull in. Of course, the first thing she noticed was her granddaughter weeping on her grandson, and Emmett crawling in, still weak from the kick to his balls.

"I don't think I want to know, but as your mother, I think I should ask," Esme said, still staring at Nessie. I sighed. I looked at my daughter and said, "Nessie, if you stop crying I will tell Alice to take you to the Mall of America."

Nessie stopped crying immediately, jumped off of her mate's back, and straightened out her clothes. I'm feeling much better now," she said. I rolled my eyes. My daughter was so simple to please.

"Carlisle, can you come down here please?" Esme asked. Nessie and Jacob still called everyone by their first names. They all preferred that.

Carlisle came down in less than a second. Edward raised his eyebrows. "I came home early from work. I wanted to see how your first day was. Why are you home so late?" Carlisle inquired.

Renesmee started her story. I don't want to repeat it all for you, but Edward says as temporary narrator I have to.

"So, when we came to school today, every student and faculty member was staring/eye-humping us. It was so annoying! One girl even showed interest for my Jake, can you believe that? My Jake? He's mine. I am not going to lose him to some fake blonde bimbo who only wants him for his abs! The nerve of some people. I have to mark him as my territory now. What am I going to do, pee on his leg? He's the dog, not me. And another thi-"

Alice interrupted, "Renesmee, focus. Back to the main story." Nessie blushed and continued.

"Sorry. Anyway, at lunch we saw the vampire with brownish-black, blue, and green eyes. Weird, right? She was a total witch, too. She threatened all of us, and called us rude names. Plus, she won't tell us her power. I don't think she has one, but you never know," Ness continued.

Esme and Carlisle looked at ease. Probably because we didn't tell them the rest. Carlisle spoke.

"Well, this doesn't sound like much of a problem. With all eight of you there, she is already outnumbered, in addition to Esme, Seth, Leah, and I. We can take her down easily if her hunting habits or her temper causes a problem."

Nessie started to stutter. "Yeah…b-but I m-may have f-forgot to mention that she has five other members of her coven which all have enough powers to take us down in five minutes or less."

Carlisle paled, if possible, and Esme gasped. "What do you mean enough powers?" Esme asked.

Jasper answered for Ness. "Well, as Ness said, the girl, Zari, wouldn't tell us her powers. But she and her two sisters are triplets, and since they were changed at the same time by the same vampire, they each have three powers. The other sister, Lani, can change the weather and control the elements. The third sister Nali, can kill or revive people, as well as heal them, and can reanimate people she's killed or who have recently died. Zari's mate, Isaac, can change appearances. Lani's mate, Zane, can paralyze people. Nali's mate, Nathan, can stop, rewind, and fast forward time. Also, the triplets' third power is one they share- they can steal powers of other vampires and use them as their own."

Carlisle looked a bit overwhelmed, and Esme had to sit down. "That certainly changes things. Some of you have to go investigate, tonight. I'll come with you. When we come back, I'll explain everything to you. I am sure this vampire will listen to reason. Edward, Emmett, Alice, Jasper, and Jacob, come with me. We'll leave in ten minutes. I just need to change."

-Ten Minutes Later-

Carlisle was dressed in a dark grey dress shirt and black pants. I guess Dads can't wear jeans. I kissed Edward good-bye, and watched them run to Zari's home. They were going to follow her scent to where she lives.

Emmett POV:

Carlisle, Edward, Alice, Jacob, Jasper, and I ran through the trees. We followed Zari's chocolaty cent to another part of the forest, about 15 miles away from where we live, but only about half an hour away from the school. It was also surrounded by trees, for disguise. The lights were on. We slowed down into a walk and strolled up to Zari's door. Carlisle knocked twice.

Two seconds later, the door opened.

Oh my fucking God.

It was Zari, swaying, with a flask in her hand, only in a black bra and black boy shorts. Her hair was straight, but she looked almost…drunk? Once she recognized who it was, she slammed the door shut.

"Well, that was rude," Edward said. I nodded. Totally rude. I heard Isaac shout to Zari, "Boo, who was that?"

"Jehovah's witnesses. They tried to convert me but I showed them that I had Jesus on speed dial and told them He's gonna be pissed that they were here," she called back to him in a normal voice.

That woman is a filthy liar.

"Zari, seriously? I thought I smelled the Cullens here," Lani said.

"Well, they weren't here. Your nose is defective," said Zari.

"Dammit Zari, were they here? I haven't had time to officially apologize for your behavior to them yet," Isaac said.

"You don't need to apologize for me. Who do you think you are, my mother? I am fully grown woman. I don't need you to speak for me."

"Yes I do, Zari, because if I didn't we would already be killed. Do you realize how fucking rude you are to people? One of these days your big, drunk mouth is going to get us in trouble." Isaac retorted.

"Excuse me? I tell it like it is. I am not going to have the Volturi all up in here because of those fucking retards," Zari sneered.

"Zari, they're still outside the door! I can smell them!"

"Let them hear, then! I don't give a shit. The sooner they get the picture, the sooner they leave."

"God, you are such a cold-hearted witch!"

"You're a pansy-ass tool!"

"I don't know why I stay with you!"

"I don't know why I chose you in the first place! I got lots of men who want this!"

"Doesn't matter, because they would all kill themselves when they first hear you speak."

"Screw you!"

"Oh, whatever."

Isaac's footsteps sounded like they were coming near the front door. I glanced back at my family. They all looked flabbergasted.

Ha. Flabbergasted. It's fun to say.

Their eyes were wide and their jaws were open. How could two vampires who were mates speak like that to each other! All I could hear in their voices was complete hatred for each other. Zari is more of a psychotic bitch than I thought.

"I agree," Edward said, hearing my thoughts.

Someone opened the door. It was Isaac, dressed in a white shirt and black jeans. He was still wearing his hat. His face at first looked pissed, and his eyes were ablaze with annoyance. But then his eyes dimmed, showing calmness. His frown smoothed out into a slight smile.

"Hello, would you like to come in?"

Carlisle cleared his throat and nodded. We followed his lead into the house.

Not to sound unmanly…but this house is fucking beautiful.

We walked through the double doors. The walls were a light brown, with brown couches. This must have been the li-, I mean, non-living room. Next to the non-living room was the kitchen. It was an open floor plan. There was a brown fireplace that was already lit. The kitchen was hot. The mahogany cupboards looked stunning and there was an ivory granite countertop and an island. There were chairs around the island. The appliances were all stainless steel.

Oh my God. This is a bitchin' house. I could see from one of the windows there was a pool. Sweet.

Lani was on the couch, typing away on her laptop. It was a MacBook Pro. Nali and Nathan were watching TV on the flat screen above the fireplace, sprawled out on the couch. A black haired woman was dancing around the living room. An Asian-looking woman was cooking in the kitchen. Zane was nowhere to be found. Zari was sitting in one of the sofas, upside down, with her head on the ground. She then got up, swaying a bit, and started dancing and singing to her own rendition of Black and Yellow by Wiz Khalifa. Zari was even smiling. She then noticed, while spinning, that we were here and she immediately stopped.

"Whadda fuck, Isaac?" she spat, her words slurring. Is she really drunk? Is that even possible for vampires?

"Now, Zari, please try to be nice…or at least pleasant," Isaac pleaded.

"No promeeses. Now, I repeed. Whadda _fuck, _Isaac?" Zari drawled.

"'I invited our guests into the house. Now, Nali, Nathan, please make some space for the Cullens," Isaac asked. You could tell he was forcing his smile on his face. Carlisle finally decided to speak.

"Hello, my name is Carlisle Cullen, I believe you have already met my children," Carlisle said.

"Unfortunately," Zari quipped. I glared at her. She glared back. I am ashamed to say that I flinched.

"We just wanted to get to know you all. We want to try to be civil towards each other, as to avoid conflict," Carlisle said swiftly. He is good at this whole negotiating thing.

Zari snorted and rolled her eyes. We all looked up towards her, including her family and the two women.

"No, you don't. You want us to tell you all our business here, so you don't have to be scared of us. Even though we rightfully own the land, since we were here first, you still feel the need to come into my house, uninvited-"

"I did invite them in, boo," Isaac butted in. Zari rolled her eyes again.

"As I said, uninvited by me, and expect us to tell you that we will abide by rules that you set up. I refuse to be limited in my own territory by a bunch of vamps that have no business being here in the first place."

Zari's words didn't slur too much this time. She took a swig from her flask.

"Zari, you're drunk," the brunette woman observed.

"I'm always drunk, Alex." Zari took another swig.

Zari started to walk- well, stumble clumsily but at the same time gracefully- towards us. "If you must know, these are," Zari coughed (although vampires have no reason to cough), "humans who are staying with us for dinner." She winked at the word dinner.

Carlisle, shocked, said, "If you plan on feeding on these humans than I will not hesitate to fight you. Neither will the rest of my family." We all nodded. The brunette woman, or Alex, and the Asian woman left the room.

"Please, Doctor Dracula. As if you could fight me. I'll send the bitches on your asses and you'll already be done for."

"Bitches, what the hell are you talking about?" I had to ask.

"Dogs, shit for brains. What else?" Zari scoffed.

"No amount of dogs can hurt us. We're vampires too. Even if you had werewolves, we could still take them on," Alice said. I swore I heard a couple of hisses.

"Oh really?" Zari said as she went through a doorway. Alice gasped. "I can't see."

Three dogs, a white one that had black stripes like a white tiger, a dark brown one, and a black one came out, all at once. They were werewolves, about Leah's size. We immediately ran outside, into the forest. We, meaning, Edward, Carlisle, Alice, Jasper, and I. The rest of Zari's family followed us calmly, with no intention of fighting. The white werewolf jumped on Alice immediately. Jasper looked livid and threw it off of her. As he was helping Alice up, the black and brown werewolf jumped on both of them, clawing up their skin.

The black werewolf came at me, knocking me down and pinning me to the ground. I struggled as it bit my neck. The black and brown wolf came at Carlisle and Edward, attacking them both at once. Nali shouted.

"Zari, call off your dogs."

Zari's voice suddenly rang out, "Bitches, off and out."

All three dogs immediately stopped, and ran out into the house. Zari came out again. She said, "Now, get the hell out of my house."

Carlisle spoke. "Zari, you need to listen, I don't want our families to be feuding. You need to relax and talk this out. We can make a treaty if you want."

"I said; get the hell out of my fucking house." Zari used Lani's power and used it to blast wind onto Carlisle. He flew through the air, back in the direction of our house. The rest of us crouched, prepared to fight her.

Bella POV:

It has been 45 minutes since Carlisle, Edward, Emmett, Jasper, and Alice left for Zari's house. I was about to wait outside for them to come back, but as I opened the door, Carlisle flew in. Literally. He flew right in and landed on the hardwood floor. He was about to get up when Emmett flew in and landed on top of Carlisle. Carlisle groaned.

"Sorry, Carlisle. I get up." Emmett got up and reached for Carlisle to help him up. But then Jasper flew in, landing face down on Carlisle. What an awkward position.

"Um…hi, Dad?" Jasper said sheepishly.

"Get off of me, Jasper."

"Alright, then," Jasper said quickly. Jasper jumped up off of Carlisle. Carlisle brought himself up, But then Alice came in, and then Edward. They both landed on Carlisle. Carlisle groaned, practically dying.

By this time, Esme, Rosalie, and Nessie came in. Alice and Jasper huddled together. I rushed up to Edward, supporting him as I stroked his hair.

"Edward, are you okay?" I was really worried.

"I'm fine, love. She…she kicked me in the chest. I think she broke a couple ribs," he said. That bitch hurt my man! I looked at Rosalie.

"She kicked him in the balls, and then hurled him here." Rosalie spat. Emmett moaned. "Why is everyone against me and my balls? This is the third time today!"

Alice had no broken limbs, but she felt sore all over. Jasper had a broken jaw. They were both curled up into balls by Zari, and rolled here like a bowling ball.

Wait a second…

"Where's Jacob?" Nessie asked, voicing my thoughts.

As if on cue, Jacob flew in, through the roof this time, and landed on Carlisle. This is so not a good day for him.

"Zari tossed me in the air and then kicked me like football midair. Ow." Jacob groaned. Then, another groan came out. Jacob looked down, and noticed he was sitting on Carlisle.

"Oh, hey Doc! Sorry 'bout the whole landing on you thing." Jacob got off of him. Carlisle then weakly tried to crawl towards his room. He could barely make it.

"Carlisle, honey, let me help you," Esme pleaded.

"No, Esme, dear. Let me regain my pride." And he proceeded to crawl into his room.

We are in for a tough school year.

And I hope this extremely long chapter can make up for my misdeeds. I am sorry for not updating. I have changed the character's appearances and the link to their pictures is on my profile. I also have pictures of the houses. I know this chapter wasn't too funny. I'll try to funny it up.

Please, take no offense at this chapter for any of its content.

Review, please!


	8. He Called Me A Wench!

**Hey! I'm having a special. This chapter is going to be super-long, to make up for lost time.. Also, give me a round of applause. I got into my top choice high school! Squeal! **

**I am a little disappointed with the lack of response last chapter. I really want you guys to give me feedback, even ideas! I warn you, though. The story is only a couple of chappies away from DRAMA! This is actually the start of it. **

**Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, only the her royal Mormonness Stephenie Meyer does.**

**Chapter Eight: He Called Me A Wench!**

Bella POV:

Fast forward time! It is now January of our school year from Hell with Zari. I'm telling you, she has only gotten worse with her abusive nature. Seriously. I'll show you the chart I made up about it. Seth and Leah are on there too, because in October, they finally came down to Wichita! Seth and Leah are in their sophomore year, posing as twins. They also hate Zari. Leah has almost killed her over twelve times. The ninth time, she was actually so wound up that we needed to sedate her with enough tranquilizer to kill a small elephant. Here's my chart. Edward thinks it's cute.

_Abuse Zari Has Given:_

_Bella-Hisses; insulting comments; rude names; 'accidentally' hitting her with dodge balls, volleyballs, birdies, golf balls, basketballs, baseballs, and soccer balls._

_Edward-Rigging his locker on numerous occasions so that embarrassing or disgusting items fall out such as used underwear, rotten mayonnaise, men's underwear catalogues, and condoms; taking the screws out of his chairs; stole his clothes while he was showering six times._

_Renesmee- 'Accidentally' splattered paint on her head; put a dead rat in her locker; spat on her._

_Rosalie-Taunted her with blonde jokes; tripped her; broke the heels on her heels; dyed her hair neon pink for seven weeks._

_Emmett- Countless nut shots; poured sour milk down his pants; insults; shoved his head down the toilet and taped the lid down as much as possible. 'The milk incident', as Emmett likes to call it, was so hilarious. I mean, it was totally rude and uncalled for, but hilarious. She didn't say anything, too. Zari just got up, took the sour milk, pulled Emmett's pants out, and poured the milk in there. Then, she sat back down._

_Alice-Insults; 'accidentally' threw multiple foods at her head; hit her in the head with a tennis racket. Zari claimed that she has frequent arm spasms. _

_Jasper-Insults; grabbed him, threw him in a janitor's closet, and locked him in there for four days; slapped him with a fish. It was still living._

_Jacob-Left dog toys in his locker; put laxatives in his food over seventeen times; knocked him unconscious and super-glued tampons onto his face. It took five weeks for the ungluing solvent to come._

_Seth-Threw rocks and small turtles at him; poured honey and bird seed on his hair so birds could attack him; replaced his bottle of lemonade with pee. Thankfully, he noticed half way. But he has not been able to drink lemonade since._

_Leah- Shaved off a chunk of her hair; hit her in the head with plywood in shop class; spat in her drink. Leah still has the bald spot from the shaving fiasco._

So, basically, she has unmercifully tortured us. We all hate her deeply. But her family is very nice, however. They have had to apologize on her behalf over seventy two times.

It has not been a good school year. Seriously. And Zari always gets off Scott-free. It seems like the principal is too busy staring at Zari's boobs to punish her. Yeah. That's right. A fifty plus year old principal is crushing on one of his students. Gross, I know.

Anyway, back to the story. It is April 25th, and it is almost time for first period. Since my family and I decided to get to school on time, we are now just hanging out in our cafeteria. The walls are white, chipping near the roof., with marble flooring. The lunch ladies are feeding the hungry students breakfast, although I'm sure they're dying to be somewhere else. Jacob and Seth, although they just finished breakfast at home twenty minutes ago, are shoveling down breakfast burritos. Leah is more ladylike however, and she is eating some hash browns. Edward is playing with my hair, and I am listening to my iPod touch. Alice is chatting with Rosalie over the upcoming summer line for whatever fashion company. Emmett and Jasper are playing on their PSPs. I suddenly heard Zari and Isaac arguing as they entered the cafeteria. Nali, Nathan, Lani, and Zane followed after them. Isaac and Zari were nearly yelling at each other. The other students in the cafeteria looked over to the couple, but then turned away, as if they are used to them having shouting matches every morning.

"You're a demon!" Isaac proclaimed.

"You're a pansy!" Zari shot back.

"You're an alcoholic, pot-smoking, cold hearted demon," Isaac said, fully yelling at his mate.

"Well, you're a spineless, whiny, arrogant pansy," Zari shouted. Isaac pinched the bridge of his nose, like Edward usually did, trying to calm down.

"At least I didn't cause World War I" Isaac was furiously whispering now, so low that only my family and I could hear them.

Wait-did he just say 'cause World War I'?

"Oh, you always have to bring that up!" Zari whispered.

D-Did Zari cause World War I?

"Because it's true!"

"That's a lie!"

"Please, Zari. You and I both know what really happened."

"So I may or may not have caused World War I. But-"

"Okay, why? Why must you always say ' I may or may not have caused World War I'? You know fully well you caused World War I."

" I may or may not have!"

"You did!"

"You may or may not have started one war, and your husband turns against you. Does 'for better and for worse' mean nothing to you?"

"Zari, I love you and crazy bitch tendencies. But I didn't know that would include you taking out heir to the Austria-Hungary empire Archduke Ferdinand and causing the first World War!"

"He called me a wench!"

I turned to look at my family. They all had the same expression on their face. Utter shock; their jaws were wide open , as well as their eyes. I'm sure I looked the same.

Jasper shook his head, bewildered. He shut off his PSP and called Isaac over. Zari glared at us with her killer glare. We shivered. Whenever Zari gave us her killer glare, this is what essentially happened. A chill ran through our already ice cold bodies. All of your worst fears and haunting memories echoed in front of you, in the fire of her cold, hard stare.

Scary, right?

Isaac came over, with Zari accompanying him, her hands folded across her chest.

Jasper opened his mouth to speak. "Isaac, did Zari really causing World War I?"

Although Jasper was asking Isaac, Zari still answered. "I may or may not have!" I rolled my eyes, as did Rosalie. She decided to speak, too.

"Oh please. You either started World War I or you didn't."

"Shut the fuck up, Blondie. This is what happened. I was walking to the liquor store in Austria-Hungary…"

FLASHBACK:

(Year 1914)

_Zari POV:_

_It is 1914, and June has just started. It is quite a beautiful day, with the sun shining and no clouds in the sky. I needed to use Isaac's power to stop glimmering in the sun. I am in Austria-Hungary, and I have just finished my hunting trip with Nali and Zane. It is not a busy day, just an average Sunday. Most people are still in church, or just opening up their shops. There is nobody wandering the streets. _

_Ugh, I need some liquor. Ah, there's a liquor store down the street. I think I should have enough for at least one bottle. I picked up the front of my long skirt and hurried to the store, when I felt a human bump into me. I looked down. Oh, Lord! It's Archduke Franz Ferdinand! He is dressed in a dark gold suit, with a cane made out of what looks like mahogany. His tawny long hair is neatly pulled back. My eyes are first drawn to his golden pocket watch that is hanging out of his coat pocket, then to his silver watch on his left wrist, and finally his eyes. At first, he looked somewhat lustful, probably due to my appearance. But then I saw the anger quickly seep into his eyes._

"_Oh, I'm very sorry sir, let me help you-" I had to act considerate to the Archduke, or else he would send his guards at me. I could take them down without lifting a finger, but then that would raise some questions…_

"_Oh, shut your mouth, you clumsy wench! Why don't you pay attention to where you are walking?" The Archduke rudely said to me, making spit fly onto my chest._

_Excuse me? Did this _human_ just call _me_ a _wench_? I felt my eyes change color as my anger grew exponentially. _

"_Did you just call me a wench? How dare you! I made an honest mistake, and you feel the need to shout at me like a fool? Why, you ought to be stoned for such rude behavior to a lady! Do you believe just because you are the heir to the throne, you have the right to shout at commoners? The audacity! I hope one day, someone finds you, and tortures you. I hope he or she will slowly hurt you, giving you so much you would beg for death! I hope they make you scream in agony as you feel all the life in you drain slowly out of you pores. I hope that they will watch the life leave your eyes, and I hope you understand that, while you are slowly dying, entering into a pain and fire-filled eternity, you realize the wickedness of your actions. I hope for the rest of forever, while you are wallowing in misery and pain, being burnt and cooked by an unyielding fire, you see my face as I laugh at you. As I laugh at your horrible and well deserved fate," I finished smoothly. _

_The Archduke looked more than frightened, and I smirked as I watched him scramble to his carriage. I heard him shout to his driver to go. I continued on my way to the liquor store, as if nothing happened, enjoying the sound of Ferdinand's terrified and uneven breaths._

_FLASHBACK OVER (Back to Bella POV)_

"…so, after that, Ferdinand may or may not have gone into hiding. He may or may not have been so frightened that he may or may not have hired extra security in his palace. He may or may not have gone into hiding with all of his extra security, and he may or may not have accidentally gone into hiding into a place where people may or may not have planned to assassinate him. Which may or may not have led up to his death."

Oh my God. Zari started World War I. The people of the Austria-Hungary empire (which are now several different countries) declared war on Serbia after his assassination.

Alice was shocked, to say the least. I mean, we all were. "B-but…how could you have said that to him?" Alice asked.

"He called me a wench!" Zari defended herself.

"I mean, what kind of independent woman would I be if I allowed him to say that to me? How could I let some archduke/heir to the throne of Austria-Hungary douche bag tell me I'm a wench?" Zari added.

Emmett snorted. We all looked over at him. "Oh, please. You actually believe that Zari caused World War I? Zari is a bully, and a bully who would never have the backbone to stand up to anyone, especially Archduke Franz Ferdinand."

Zari growled fiercely. "You don't think I have backbone?"

"I know you don't, " Emmett growled back. Zari pounced. Literally, pounced in the middle of the cafeteria. But, Isaac caught her by the waist. She was screaming now, fighting against Isaac.

"I'll show you backbone! Let me go, Isaac. _Let me go. _Let me go so I can kill this block-headed motherfucker!"

At that, my family bust out laughing. Zari was not pleased about that, and she yelled out, "WHAT?"

Through her giggles, Renesmee spoke. "Well, Zari, you may have been able to kick out my family from your house, but they weren't even prepared. The fact of the matter is, you can't take down Emmett when he is ready for a fight."

Zari immediately stopped thrashing against her mate. A very creep smile slowly appeared onto her face, while her ebony/green/blue eyes still held an immeasurable amount of anger.

"Fine then. You don't believe I can take down Jarhead, so I'll prove it to you after school." The students in the cafeteria 'oohed.' My family and I just started laughing again. Emmett laughed the hardest. "Alright. Zari, I'll fight you. But I'm warning, I won't go easy on you."

Zari growled, silencing our laughs. "You should be begging me to go easy on you," she said, storming out of the lunchroom. Isaac was shaking his head.

"It was nice knowing you, Emmett," Isaac said. He looked distressed. Emmett chuckled.

"Isaac, don't worry. She can't take me down. The fight will be over in two minutes tops," Emmett said nonchalantly, waving his hand. We all agreed with him, nodding our heads. I may have been able to beat him in arm wrestling, but that was just arm wrestling. In actually combat, Emmett would pin me in a second.

Isaac's face didn't change. He simply shook his head again, repeating, "It was nice knowing you, Emmett."

It is 2:30 p.m. School just finished ten minutes ago. Everyone in school is in the parking lot, preparing for the fight. Students have their phones out, taking pictures and recording. Others actually have camcorders and tripods to document the fight. Everyone is talking about the upcoming battle. Nathan is selling tickets and t-shirts. Wait-how did he have the time to make t-shirts if the fight was just announced this morning?

Zari was in one corner of the lot, her back being massaged by Nali, while Lani was begging Zari to call off the fight. Isaac was holding his head in his hands. He also had to use his power to make it look like blood was coming out and bruises were forming. Zane was helping Nathan sell his shirts and tickets.

Emmett was in the other corner, punching and jabbing at the air, while Rosalie was dabbing his forehead with a wet towel. Edward, Nessie, Jasper, and I were cheering him on. Alice was setting up her camcorder, and Jacob was taking bets. Half of the student body bet on Emmett winning, while the other half bet on Zari.

I don't see the big deal. I mean, Zari is just going to lose anyway. She looks strong, but everyone knows that girls who act tough are really fragile inside. Look at Rosalie. On the outside, she's a tough, mean woman, but she really is a sweet girl deep down. Deep, deep down. I heard Nathan tell Zane to take over the concession stand while he announced the beginning of the fight.

"EVERYBODY SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Nathan bellowed. The parking lot was silent instantly. "Thank you," he said in a lower, but still loud enough so everyone can hear, voice. "Now, we are gathered here today to watch what may be the most epic battle between Emmett Cullen and Zari Haywood. The rules of this fight are as follows: no weapons of any kind, and below the waist hits are allowed. Let's just hope for Emmett's sake that he doesn't want children. Are both contenders ready?" Zari and Emmett nodded. "Alright, then. Let the fight BEGIN!" He shouted.

Zari and Emmett both stepped up. The student body formed a ring around the two of them, so it was almost like a real boxing match.

Zari stepped back suddenly, an urgent look on her face. Rosalie smirked, as did Edward, Jasper and I. Zari was going to back out of the fight.

"Wait! I can't do this," Zari said. The crowd gasped, and I heard whispers of 'Zari backing out of a fight?' and 'Wow. I never thought Zari Haywood would ever be scared'. Zari spoke again.

"I can't do this…without my flask," she continued. The crowd breathed a sigh in relief, while our smirks fell off of our faces. Wait…did she say flask? Is Zari an alcoholic?

"Isaac, pass me the Absolut Vodka one," Zari ordered. Isaac went inside what I assumed to be their Cadillac Escalade. He stopped..

"Which one? You have forty seven here."

I gasped. Zari is a heavy drinker.

"The red one," she responded.

"You have seventeen red ones," he said back.

"The red one with the skull and crossbones on it," Zari clarified. Isaac nodded and tossed the flask over to Zari. She took a swig and wiped her mouth. She stuck the flask inside her high heel booties and walked back inside the ring. She did not take a fighting stance like Emmett. She stood straight with her arms folded across her chest. She looked amused.

"So, are you going to hit me, or are you going to just stand there like Rocky Balboa?" Zari taunted.

Emmett, still in his fighting stance with his fists raised and jumping up and down on his toes, said, "I'm trying to go easy on you, and be a gentleman by letting you hit me first."

"I told you before, dunderhead, that I will not allow you to go easy on me. Give it your best shot. I dare you," she said in a menacing voice.

"I warned you, sweetheart. I won't be so nice now."

That's the last thing Emmett said before he charged at Zari with his fist raised. He swung, aiming for her jaw.

Zari tilted her head to the right, and he missed. I heard Rosalie muttering to Jasper, "He's gonna beat her. She can dodge all she wants but once he lands a hit, she's done." I swore I saw Zari roll her eyes.

Emmett shook his head and raised his other fist, and aimed for Zari's chin.

She took one step back., and he missed again. Rosalie and Edward hissed.

"Will you stop moving so I can hit you?" Emmett asked rhetorically. He aimed another punch but Zari moved a third time. He barely missed her cheek. For the fourth time, Emmett swung at Zari.

But something different happened this time.

Zari grabbed Emmett's fist with one hand and karate chopped his shoulder. Emmett grunted and backed up a couple steps.

"Okay, that was a reflex, but try and stop this," Emmett said as he sprinted towards Zari, trying to tackle her.

Zari sidestepped to the left, tripped Emmett, and elbowed him in the center of his spine, making him collapse. Emmett groaned. I gasped.

Maybe this wasn't going to be as easy as I thought.

"Let's party," Zari murmured.

Emmett roared as he tackled Zari to the ground. He punched her in the nose, breaking it. Yes! Go Emmett! Isaac used his power to make it look like blood was running out of her nose. But then Zari punched Emmett in the chin, making him fall backwards. She stood up, reset her nose, and motioned Emmett to come up and fight. Emmett charged forward and swung, but Zari ducked and punched Emmett in the gut. He lost his breath, but recovered. He grabbed Zari by the waist and threw her body first in the pavement. She groaned a bit. She stayed on the floor for a little while. I smiled, hoping she would give up. Half of the student body groaned, while the other half cheered.

I was wrong again. Zari jumped up, wiped a bit of blood that was on her cheek, and smiled.

Why did that smile scare the crap out of me?

Emmett was about four feet away from Zari, when she stepped forward and kicked Emmett in the cheek. She took another step forward and kicked his other cheek, making him stumble. Zari took a third step forward and kicked Emmett right in the coconuts. Em and Rose will not have any 'special alone time' for a while.

The worst part is, Zari wore heels today.

Then she took a final step forward and punched Emmett right in his nose, making him collapse yet again. Rosalie growled loudly, but no one could hear her over the cheers of the crowd. Nali was full-on cheering for Zari, jumping up and down excitedly. Jasper shook his head, as did Edward. Jacob and Renesmee were yelling at Emmett, saying, "Come on, Em! Beat her to the ground!" Alice was still filming, but she looked worried for Emmett. I guess she's worried that Zari will beat Em.

I whispered to her, "Alice, don't worry. Emmett will take down Zari soon." But Alice still kept that worried look on her face.

Zari then jumped onto Emmett's form on the ground, strangling him. Emmett (while faking being choked) managed to push Zari over to his side roughly. He tried to get up, but Zari grabbed his ankle and twisted it, making Emmett flip in the air and fall face first into the parking lot. I heard his shin break. No!

Zari climbed onto Emmett's back, and grabbed his arms, twisting them behind him. He groaned. Zari used one arm to hold both of Emmett's, and said her other one to grab Emmett's head and smash it repeatedly into the pavement. Zari's half of the crowd cheered her on, while Emmett's half groaned. Some people were switching their bets over to Zari.

Wow, Isaac really as his work cut out for him.

Emmett then landed a kick to the back of Zari's head. It knocked her off Emmett's back.

Emmett tackled her again. He punched her in face at least eight times. He even pimp-smacked her. Emmett then grabbed Zari, stood up, and threw her into one of the cars. Luckily, it was an already damaged car, so the dent she made wasn't noticeable. Half of the crowd sucked their teeth, feeling bad about Zari's fall. The other half chanted, "Emmett! Emmett! Emmett!"

Emmett picked Zari up again, spun her around, and then dropped her back down on the pavement. When Zari whimpered, Emmett smirked.

"Well, well, well. Look what has happened here. I told you from the beginning. I'll always beat you. The thought that you believed you could beat me was and still is laughable," Emmett said smugly. My family and I were smug too. I knew he would win! Cullens-1, Zari-0. Well, that's excluding all the times we were pranked by Zari.

Emmett's side of the crowd was cheering loudly, while Zari's half was disappointed. Everyone was lining up at Nathan's booth, prepared to pay up. I turned to Alice to talk to her about the fight, but she was in the middle of a vision. She gasped as soon as she came out of it. I wonder what's-

"HEY! LOOK! IT'S NOT OVER!" A random kid shouted.

As Emmett was walking away, satisfied, Zari slowly stood up. She went inside of her Cadillac Escalade and turned the car on. I assumed she was going to drive home, humiliated, but she didn't turn on the engine. It looked like she was putting in a CD. With my vampire sight, I could see it was Kanye West's My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy album. She skipped so that the CD was playing POWER.

It all seemed to happen in slow motion from then.

Everyone in the parking lot turned as soon as that kid shouted out. Zari slowly climbed out of her Escalade, with POWER blasting out of her speakers. She walked back into the circle. Emmett was standing there, with his arms crossed, smirking. He was still cut up and bruised (well, that's what it looked like because of Isaac), but he knew fully well that he could take down Zari a second time.

Emmett swung at Zari three times, but she quickly ducked at each swing and punched him three times in his back. Emmett stumbled a bit.

Once he steadied himself, he punched, but Zari blocked it with her hands. She started moving her hands so quickly it seemed like a blur, but not too much of a blur that humans would get suspicious. Emmett was so distracted at how Zari's hands were moving that he didn't expect her to punch him right in the jaw.

Emmett jabbed at Zari, but she blocked it with her elbow and punched him again in the jaw.

Emmett recovered from the blow, and went to punch Zari, but then she blocked him again and hit once in the gut and once in his face. Emmett landed a punch to her side and Zari fell back.

POWER was still blaring through the speakers.

The crowd was still cheering both sides on. Screams of "You can do it, Zari!" and "Take her down, Emmett!" could be heard from every angle. I'm surprised that the school staff hadn't noticed. They probably went home right after dismissal. Rosalie was watching the fight intently, hoping her Emmett would power over the She-Witch Zari. The rest of my family were cheering with the crowd.

Nali was on the hood of the Escalade, belting out POWER lyrics and chanting Zari's name. Nathan was getting tons of customers to his betting stand, and Zane went over to help. Lani, who at first was against the fight, decided to join Nali at the top of the Escalade, singing POWER and chanting.

Zari picked herself up, as Emmett sprinted towards her. She stepped out of his way and tripped him. He was able to not fully fall, just stumble. Emmett ran again towards Zari, picking her up and ramming her into a tree. The crowd moved over immediately once they say them coming. Zari repeated punched Emmett's back so he would let go of her. She managed to push Emmett's head, making him let go of her and step back. He swung, but Zari jabbed him in the stomach, making him fall forward into the tree. Emmett turned, but she slapped him, so he turned around again due to the force of the slap.

Emmett grabbed Zari again, but she smacked him in the face at least twelve times, which caused him to throw her down to the ground. Zari stood up again, and took a deep breath. But, it looked like she smelled something interesting, and quickly looked around the lot. I looked around too, but couldn't see anything.

While Zari was distracted, looking for the smell, Emmett landed a great punch to her jaw, making her spin to the ground. Emmett's side of the crowd cheered madly.

Edward POV:

I am a bit nervous. It looks like Zari has lost the fight, with Emmett's punch to the jaw, but it also looked like she still had something up her evil sleeve. I listened in on her thoughts to see her plan, when Alice gasped again.

"I know who's going to win the fight," Alice said ominously.

I listened to hear Zari's thoughts. She was thinking quick, literally. I struggled to keep up with the speed of her thoughts.

_This mustn't distract me, on any level._

_Distract target…then block his blind jab…counter with cross to his left cheek…discombobulate…dazed, he'll attempt wild hay maker…employ elbow block…and body shot…block feral left…weaken right jaw…now fracture…break cracked ribs…traumatize solar plexus…dislocate jaw entirely… and heel kick to diaphragm._

_Perfect._

I don't understand. Her thoughts were so incoherent and mashed together. It only took her a second to say that entire thought. I doubt they make an actual fighting plan. Unless…oh, Lord.

Bella POV:

Zari stood there, staring at the ground. It looked like she was thinking. But then, a second later, her gaze snapped back up to Emmett. She smirked. She then took off her navy blue Aeropostale shirt and balled it up. She was standing in only her gray bra, flare jeans, and black stilettos.

Emmett rolled his eyes, saying, "Zari, stripping won't make this any easier on-"

But Zari cut him off, flinging her balled up shirt at his face. Distracted, Emmett swung blindly. Zari blocked the punch and hit him in his cheek. Next, Zari took both her hands and slammed then hard on each side of his face. Emmett stumbled for a bit, but then focused back on the fight. He jabbed again at Zari, but she prevented the hit with her elbow and hit him hard in the stomach.

Emmett looked pretty bad. This was Zari's quickest attack, and he was not prepared for all these moves.

He moved to punch Zari, but she blocked it again and elbowed Em in the jaw. Emmett fell back a little, but then turned to Zari who then punched him in the jaw, breaking it. The crack echoed over the parking lot, even with all the students cheering.

Zari rapidly punched Emmett in the chest, hitting his ribs and sides. She punched his jaw again, probably, and the sound of his bones shifting was heard by only the vampires, Nessie, and Jake. Then, to finish Emmett off, she took her foot and kicked him in the abdomen, sending him flying back into his Jeep, breaking a few headlights.

Keep in mind, Zari is wearing stilettos today,

He collapsed on the floor. Emmett tried weakly to stand up, but Zari slammed her foot down on his undamaged leg, breaking it. Emmett groaned, unable to move. The parking lot was silent.

"Don't mess with the queen, bitch," Zari said.

Three seconds later, the entire lot went from dead silent to incredibly loud. Cheering, screaming, and yelling could be heard from Zari's side of the student body, while grumbling and curses rang out from Emmett's side.

The fight was over. Zari won.

POWER ended and All of the Lights by Kanye came on.

I can't believe it. Zari fucking won. Small, one hundred and twenty two pound Zari won. Against huge, grizzly bear-sized Emmett.

I glanced over to Zari's family. Nali and Lani were cheering the loudest, also belting out the lyrics to All of the Lights. Nathan and Zane were flooding with cash as the student body handed in there bets. Isaac went over to Zari, handing her another flask, which she eagerly took.

I looked back over at my family. We were all downcast. Edward and Jasper were arguing over the outcome of the fight. Nessie was screaming that Zari cheated, while Jacob tried to explain to Ness that Zari won fairly. Rosalie ran over to care for Emmett, and Alice was using her camera to interview people about what they thought about the fight. I was calling Carlisle, explaining to him what happened.

About half an hour later, people were starting to leave the lot. My family and Zari's family were the last ones there. We walked up to each other, except for Emmett, who was recovering in the Jeep. Zari was limping a bit, but could still walk. She was taking sips from her flask.

Isaac spoke first. "I'm really sorry that-"

"Isaac, God dammit, stop apologizing for me. Barry Bonds over there deserved it," Zari said smoothly. Rosalie growled at her, and Zari hissed back as she stalked off. Zari went into the forest. "I have to take care of something," Zari mumbled to her family.

"Anyway, I'm sorry for her. She gets kind of carried away with…everything. It's scary, I mean, I would suggest anger management for her, but the doctors would then have to be sent to mental hospitals. Or church."

They left after Isaac finished his mini-speech. We decided to hunt a bit before we went home. We all really didn't want to hear Emmett moaning and groaning in pain.

As we ran into the forest, we saw a horrifying sight.

Zari was greedily drinking a young woman dry, right in front of our eyes.

**OH! Cliffhanger! I hope you liked this chapter, I spent like two weeks writing and rewriting it. If you want to see what part of the fight looked like, there's a link for a Youtube video. It's a scene from Sherlock Holmes. Zari is Robert Downey Jr., and Emmett is that big guy. A bit of the video is different from what I wrote. **

**Review. Now. Do it.**

**MsDelightfullyInsane**


	9. Like An Alcoholic with Vodka

**I'm back! Okay, so my schedule has been kind of all over the place lately. But, I'm graduating middle school Thursday. So I'll try to update once every other week. I've been working on this chapter on my phone for a week or two now. So, I hope you guys like it.**

**I also want to thank paribear13. He/She is the only one who reviewed last chapter. This one is for you.**

**Disclaimer: I o-day ot-nay own-ay ilight-tway.**

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Bella POV:

There, right in the middle of the forest, was this horrifying sight. We, with the exception of Emmett, were about twenty yards from school grounds. The area was slightly damp, with blades of grass growing up to three feet in the air. There were patches of flowers and weeds scattered around the vicinity. There were birds' nests on trees about thirty feet high, but there were no birds to be seen. It seemed as if all wildlife had disappeared once our family entered, probably because we are vampires.

In the center of this field was a girl, about nineteen years old, with black hair in a pixie cut. She was very slim, and tall. She seemed about 5'7. She was dressed in light wash skinny jeans, a dark blue tank top, a denim jacket rolled up to her elbows, and black flats. The girl was grasping Zari's arm loosely. It seems that the girl was unconscious.

Zari was holding the girl up by her head. She was tilting the girl's head to the side to get better access to her neck. The other arm was supporting the girl's upper body. Zari was drinking the girl's blood wolfishly. Jasper and Jacob immediately sprung into action. They tackled Zari to the ground. Edward ran over to the girl, looking over her body to check how much blood Zari drank. Alice was looking into the future for the girl. Rosalie was calling Carlisle, trying to ask him for advice. Nessie and I were standing by Jasper and Jacob, ready to give them back up if Zari escaped. Jasper had Zari in a chokehold and Jacob was holding her legs down. Zari was snarling furiously.

"Why? Why did you let me go? She needs to die!" Zari exclaimed.

We ignored her. I looked to Edward expectantly. He saw me looking at him and decided to speak. "It's too late. The venom has spread too far. We either burn her or let her change," he said solemnly, sounding similar to Carlisle. He's so cute when he takes charge. Edward smiled briefly at my thought, but went back to seriousness.

"No! Do not let her change. You don't understand if she doesn't die, then we all will!" There Zari goes again with her ranting.

"The thing is, she's still unconscious. If she was going through the change, she should be screaming violently," Edward observed.

As if on cue, the girl began to scream. Loudly.

"Nevermind," Edward added, rolling his eyes. I heard a vampire speeding over to our area. The vampire's scent was Carlisle's. Edward informed him on what had happened.

"Carlisle, we might as well just bring her to the house. There's no other alternative," Jasper said.

"Um, hello? Yes there is! Kill her! Kill that backstabbing, lying, traitor bitch! Send her to Hell where she belongs," Zari demanded.

"What Jazz means is, there is no other alternative that doesn't include murder," Alice amended, looking pointedly at Zari while speaking. Zari rolled her eyes and growled again.

"You know, I do not think you are in a place to growl at us, considering we have you in a choke hold," Carlisle said nonchalantly. Zari snorted and replied, "Please, Dr. Doom. Confederate Boy here has me in a headlock. Not all of you. And listen to me when I saw I was doing the right thin-"

"Doing the right thing? Since when is drinking a poor, young, innocent human teen dry like an alcoholic with vodka the right thing?" Rosalie said mockingly.

Zari snarled. "It's the right thing when people's lives are in danger. I know I can be bitchy at times-"

It was Jacob's turn to snort. "Psh, 'at times'. How 'bout all the time?"

"Shut it, Teen Wolf. I'm just saying you need to trust me."

"Ha! Trust you? You shaved off a chunk of my hair. It's gonna take another year for it to grow back," said Leah, emerging from the trees with Seth. They must have stumbled upon us while wandering through the forest. they decided to not come in today, just for a day off. I guess they chose a great day to do so. Leah and Seth were both glaring daggers at Zari.

I was about to pick up the human when I heard Jacob grunt, Jasper yell, and Nessie gasp. Zari had escaped, running towards the east side of the forest. By the looks of it, Zari had kicked Jacob in the shin, elbowed Jasper in the stomach, and ran so fast that Nessie didn't expect it. I sighed. We will have to chase after her, and soon. Emmett must be healed by now anyway. I saw Carlisle, Nessie, and Jacob pick up the human, who was still thrashing about and screaming hysterically, and run her over to our home. Rosalie and Alice went to pick up Emmett by the Jeep. We will need him in the fight. Granted Zari beat him mercilessly, but that was only against him. There will be six of us now. I called Esme, letting her know about what happened in the past twenty minutes. Jasper was practicing his battle moves with Leah and Seth. Edward called out where Zari was heading to.

I sighed again. Two fights in one day. A new record.

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**Okay, I now this is really short, but the next chapter is going to be longer. This is kind of just a filler. Plus, it is half past 3 AM and I need to sleep. I'll see if I can put up a new chapter by next Tuesday.**

**Review!**


	10. Never Shush Your Wife

**Okay. So, no one is reviewing. I'm not going to stop posting, but seriously, I need some feedback. Constructive criticism, praise, Hell, even flames will do. REVIEW. Happy Summer!**

**Disclaimer:**אני לא משלה דמדומים**. (Hebrew)**

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Bella POV:

Zari had just run away from us, after we caught her drinking a human. She knows we're coming after her. Esme and Emmett came as soon as they heard. Jasper decided to speak up.

He began, "Okay, so as we all know Zari was caught drinking from an innocent human. We don't know how long this has been going on, but it needs to stop. We're going to end this. We are going to get rid of her, dead or alive. But first, I think we need to notify her coven. It might be tough with Isaac being her mate, but I'm sure they will understand. Since this is twelve against one, this should not be too hard. It's probably going to be fun. But, I'm just going to go over the basics. Men: always protect your balls. I cannot stress this enough. Most of us, and by most I mean every guy but Seth, have women at home we have to please. We need our balls to do this. Also, never turn your back on your opponent. Zari is violent. She works best when your back is turned. Women, no slapping. This is not an 80 percent off sale at Prada. We do not slap in fight-to-the-death mortal combat. Okay? We clear?"

The men saluted him, while the girls (including myself) grumbled angrily at Jasper's sexist remarks. Jasper rolled his eyes at us, making Alice walk up to him and slap him upside the head. The sound of her hand meeting his head made an echoing 'thunk' sound.

Leah decided to call Zari's coven, to make them aware of what had happened and what will happen.

"Hello," a voice said. I believe it was Isaac.

"Hey, this is Leah. From the Cullen coven," she said awkwardly.

"Is everything alright?" Isaac asked, not sounding concerned, but bored.

"No, not really. We kinda caught Zari draining some human girl dry and now we might have to kill her," Leah blurted out in one breath.

"Oh. Have her back by midnight, then. See you tomorrow," Isaac said and hung up.

What the hell? Isn't he a bit concerned that he might be mate-less in half an hour? Did he even hear what Leah said? Was he deaf? Can vampires go deaf? Well, Emmett went stupid, so maybe-whatever.

Carlisle signaled the family into the woods, in the direction Zari sped off.

It's on. Cue epic fight music…now.

We ran a couple hundred yards in the forest for about five seconds when Edward stopped suddenly, making me bump into him and land on my ass.

"Thanks a lot, honey," I said, standing up. Edward shushed me.

"Excuse me? Did you just shush me?" I whisper-yelled to him. He shushed me again. I scoffed angrily.

"Bella, please. I just smelled Zari three miles west of here," he explained.

"I don't care, Edward. You don't shush your wife. I am not some insolent chi-"I was cut off by Seth.

"THIS IS NOT THE TIME FOR THAT!" His yell reverberated throughout the forest.

"There's no need to shout," I mumbled. I mean, granted, I was arguing with my husband about him shushing me in the middle of our mission to kill a psycho vampire chick, but still! "I just got a little distracted at how my own husband can shush me! I mean, really-"I was interrupted again, but not by Seth.

"I agree with Seth. I don't think this is the time for marital fights."

Zari's voice eerily rang through the normal sounds of the forest. We looked around frantically, trying to find her. Even with our vampire/werewolf sight we couldn't see her.

"In fact, I think another kind of fight is in order," she continued. My head whipped around to the source of the voice, but no one was there. I looked around the entire forest. All I could see was a family of birds in a nest and a few butterflies. Once the birds locked eyes with me they flew off, flustered. I heard a shout coming from Jasper. I turned my head to see Zari with her legs locked around Jasper's neck. She was gripping the forest floor in a handstand while slowly squeezing Jasper's throat. Edward quickly ran to throw Zari down, when Zari used her legs to flip Jasper onto Edward. They fell into a pile, groaning. Zari flipped out of her handstand onto her feet. This snapped us out of our shocked daze.

Emmett sprinted towards Zari, ready to tackle her. Zari punched him square in the jaw, making him spin onto the floor.

"Ugh, that just healed," Emmett mumbled out in pain.

Rosalie growled and pounced on Zari. Zari was knocked off balance, with Rose piggy-backing her, but Zari quickly grabbed Rosalie's head and threw her off her back.

Esme and Carlisle decided to tackle Zari together. Esme went high, Carlisle went low. Zari fell down immediately. Jasper, Emmett, Edward, Alice, and I joined the dog pile on Zari. I grabbed her left leg, Alice grabbed her right. Emmett grabbed her right arm, and Jasper got the other. Edward, Rosalie, and Esme were holding Zari down. Carlisle grasped Zari's head, starting to pull. We were chuckling now, this fight became fun. Leah, Seth, Jacob, and Ness were standing back, starting the fire.

Zari then stopped struggling briefly. She then pulled in her arms, legs, and her head towards her chest. For some reason, we were now having difficulty pulling her apart.

What the hell? This was eight vampires' strength against one, and she isn't dead yet?

Zari then suddenly burst open, and she was breathing fire. Literally. You don't have to go back and read that line over again. She. Was. Breathing. Fire. FUCKING FIRE. Like, flames coming bursting out of her mouth like a volcano, fire. Like, scary, evil fire.

I think you get the point.

She roared and blew fire towards all of us. We flew backward, not wanting to get burned on the spot, letting go of her. Zari got back on her feet, still breathing fire. Carlisle went to punch her, but Zari grabbed his fist, twisted it around his back, and used him as a shield. Emmett came to kick Zari, but his kick landed on Carlisle's face. Zari then pushed Carlisle to the floor and took him by the legs. She used him as a bat to hit Emmett, and then threw him at Esme and Rosalie.

Jasper and Edward took their places on her left and right. Jasper threw a punch at Zari, but she ducked at the last minute, making him punch Edward. Edward went to kick her side, but she bent over backwards, making him miss. Jasper and Edward, still standing beside her, both went to punch Zari, but she slid into a split and used both fists to punch them each in the coconuts. They went down badly.

Nessie ran behind Zari, but Zari sidestepped to the right, and held her arm out, making Nessie run into her stone cold arm and fall over.

Alice decided to use karate to take down Zari. She went to hit Zari with her left arm, but Zari blocked it. Alice went to go hit Zari with her right, but Zari blocked it yet again. Alice went to kick Zari in the face, but Zari blocked again. Alice, fully frustrated now, used both arms to strike Zari, but Zari captured her arms and pushed Alice forcefully into a boulder.

Seth, Leah, and Jacob pounced on Zari. But with six quick hits to the neck and abdomen, all three wolves were taken down, paralyzed.

It was only me left. I sighed, cracking my knuckles.

Here I go.

I darted towards Zari, but she back-flipped, kicking my jaw. I flew about seven feet into the air. I felt gravity start to pull me down, when Zari punched me right in the center of my chest. I was cast back into a tree. I felt the pain slowly set into my face and chest. I groaned.

By this time, Carlisle and Emmett got back up. They looked beaten, but they wouldn't give up. They shared a look before they both pounced on Zari. I couldn't see her anywhere, so I assumed they got her.

But, Emmett and Carlisle got up only to see that no one was there beneath them. Only a couple blades of grass and a ladybug.

"What the fuck? Where did she go?" Jacob wondered aloud. I scanned the area, wondering where Zari could have gone without us seeing. Was this one of her powers? Teleporting? Or maybe invisibility?

"Look, I'll give you one last chance to walk away, or else I will not hesitate to open a can of Whoop Ass on you," Zari said from a distance.

"Please, it's twelve against one. You don't stand a chance," Leah, who had phased back and was now naked (Yes, it was a bit awkward), said smugly. We all heard a sigh.

Before any of us could register what happened, Zari tackled Leah to the ground from her unknown location. Leah immediately phased back into her gray wolf form, with Zari hanging off of her back. The funny thing is, while Leah was growling furiously and thrashing around, Zari was having the time of her life. She was _smiling_, in a weird, creepy way, and riding Leah like a horse. She was even cheering.

"Yeehaw!" Zari belted out in a Southern accent. Leah growled again and threw Zari off by standing on her hind legs. Zari landed on her hands, and back flipped to her feet. She grabbed Leah by her fur, lifted her up, and threw her into a tree. A ripping sound was heard.

Zari looked down to see her hands full of Leah's fur. Leah had two bald spots where Zari had been holding her. The psycho vampire chuckled, saying, "Well, it's never too late to buy a wig, Bitch. Get it? It's because you're a female dog." Leah only whimpered.

Seth and Jacob charged toward Zari, snarling at the assault of their fellow pack member. Zari simply kicked Seth in the throat, sending him about 13 feet in the air, and punched Jacob so hard that he collided mid-air with Seth. They both fell to the ground in a heap.

Nessie roared and pounced on Zari's back. Zari ran backwards into a tree, slamming Nessie's spine into the hard bark of the tree, making it fall backwards. Nessie released her grip on Zari, falling back. But, she shook her head and stood up, running towards Zari. Zari looked bored and before we knew it, my daughter was frozen in a solid ball of ice. Damn, she must have used Lani's powers.

My family and I snarled. No one freezes my daughter and gets away with it.

I mean, granted, this was the first time anyone has ever frozen Nessie in a ball of ice, but you get the point.

Edward sprinted towards Zari, who simply raised a finger. The ground below Edward's feet rose out from the earth in a tall cylinder. Edward stumbled a bit, but then jumped off the pillar of ground and continued running towards Zari. But she lifted her finger again, and then Edward was elevated. This time he didn't stop running and he was coming down to land when Zari kicked him mid-air in the stomach, sending him ass-first into a tree hollow.

I giggled. But then I got back on task.

I ran towards Zari, angry at her attack on my husband and child.

She picked me up, grabbing my neck and inner thigh, and spun me around at super speed, as if I was pizza dough. She then threw me face first into the ground. I felt my collarbone break and the world started to rotate. I guess spinning me made me a bit dizzy. I tried to stand up, but my vision was blurry. Then, I felt a burst of pain in my jaw and leg, and I fell back. Zari efficiently broke my jaw and right leg.

My vision was starting to come back to me, but it would take a while until my bones healed. I looked up to see Rosalie, Alice, and Esme trying to tag-team Zari. They were giving their all, but it looked like Zari was easily holding them off.

Rosalie tried to kick Zari's side, while Alice went for a jab in the cheek, and Esme tried to karate chop her neck. Zari grasped Rosalie's leg before it could hit her, and swung Rose In front of her so Alice's hit and Esme's karate chop landed on Rose, who grunted. Rosalie broke free from Zari's grasp and Zari stepped back. Esme, Alice, and Rosalie surrounded Zari, and they all aimed a kick at Zari's face. But the dark-skinned vampire leaned backwards into a crab-walk stance, making the girls' feet collide.

Zari, still in her crab-walk position, shifted all her weight to her hands as she lifted her legs up swiftly, kicking Rosalie and Esme in both their necks. They stumbled backward. Zari jumped back to her feet before striking Rosalie in the throat, making her choke as she flew back into Seth and Jacob's dog pile.

Zari took hold of Esme's head, and brought it down to her knee. I heard Esme's nose break. Zari let Esme drop to the ground before she picked Esme up, flipped her so that her face was facing the sky, and kneed her in the spine. I don't think she could feel her legs.

Alice pulled her fist back to strike, but Zari was too quick for her. Zari hit Alice with an uppercut to the chin, making her soar over 50 feet backwards into a tree.

Carlisle, enraged at his mate's abuse, grabbed Zari by her legs and flipped her upside down.

"Oh, look. Daddy Dearest is trying to grow a pair," Zari hissed. Carlisle dropped Zari on her head. I heard her ankle snap in Carlisle's grip. She made no sound. Zari simply gripped Carlisle's legs and pulled. Carlisle slid onto the floor, and Zari stood up. She flipped Carlisle on his stomach and smashed his head into the ground until she heard his jaw, nose, and collarbone break. Zari kicked him aside.

Emmett tackled Zari to the ground and punched her in the jaw, sending Zari's head to the right. Zari froze for a moment. After about twenty or thirty seconds, she slowly turned her head back to face Emmett, a wild and feral look in her eyes. She smirked and roared, fire blasting out of her mouth. Emmett tumbled to the floor.

Again with the breathing fire! That's just creepy.

Zari snarled, fire shooting out of her mouth and nose now as she stared at Emmett. Emmett went to give a blow to the chin, but Zari seized his arm, and ripped it off. Emmett cried out, as did Rosalie from the dog pile. Weakened, Emmett could not prevent Zari from pulling down his pants and- OH MY GOD!

SWEET MARY, MOTHER OF JESUS! My family, still healing, saw what had happened and gasped in horror.

Zari shoved Emmett's thick arm up his ass. Literally. Like, elbow deep. I shuddered, although I still couldn't stand. A couple more minutes and we should be fully healed.

The trees vibrated due to the sound of Emmett's pain-filled howl.

It was only Jasper left. They were circling each other.

"Look, Confederate. There's reason why the South lost the war. Let me show you why," Zari taunted back. That was a low blow. You never tease Jasper about the war. He gets so pissed.

"You hurt my Alice. You assaulted my family. You ass-raped my brother with his own arm. And now you mock the Confederacy? Prepare to die," Jasper declared threateningly.

"The Confederacy was already a joke to begin with," Zari replied, rolling her eyes. That's all Jasper could take.

He took both hands and tried to rip Zari's head off in one swipe. Zari quickly took Jasper's arms before they could reach her neck and twisted them both back behind his back. He groaned, in pain. Zari then kneed him in the kidneys, making him fall to his knees. I saw Zari lean down and whisper to Jasper, "I pity you and your family, so I'm going to allow you to attack me. Rip my head off. I dare you to try." She dropped Jasper from her clutches, and watched as he quickly got up and tried to again to tear off Zari's head. She didn't even move; she just kept smirking.

I smiled as I saw Zari's head fall to the floor, the echo of a smirk still on her face. Jasper yelled in victory, and helped the rest of us get up, since most of us finished healing during the final battle. I helped break Nessie out of her icy chamber. while Jasper and Edward held Emmett down as Carlisle tried to gently yank Emmett's arm out of his ass. We kicked Zari's head around some, and the girls got started on the fire while the boys went to tear the rest of her body apart.

"Wait! Where's her body?" Seth asked, still rubbing the sore spots on his body. I turned around from gathering sticks to see that Zari's body was nowhere to be found. We heard a blood-curdling laugh.

"I'm not that easy."

All twelve of us turned to see Zari leaning against a tree. We were about to sink into a crouch when Zari looked up and raised both hands. All of a sudden, I was encased in cone-shaped mound of dirt, along with the rest of my coven. We were about to break free when Zari surrounded each of us in flames. Oh God, we're going to die.

But…wait. The flames aren't touching us. Then why would she…?

"She's hardening the soil so that we can't break free," Jasper explained, realizing her plan. The fires died down as the soil finally solidified.

"Wow, I never expected the Southern Belle to be intelligent," Zari quipped.

"Shut the Hell up!" Alice seethed. Zari was in front of Alice's face before I could register the movement. She held a finger, alight with fire, up to Alice's neck.

"What did you say, midget?" Zari questioned, her mouth in a straight line.

Alice looked down and said nothing.

"Well, if that is all, I shall be on my way," the ebony/blue/green eyed vampire said, turning to walk home.

"Wait, you're just gonna leave us here?" Leah shouted to her retreating form.

"Yup!" And with that, Zari ran to her home.

"Son of a biscuit! How could this get any worse?" Jacob said.

As if on cue, a deer came up, timidly, and peed on Jacob's soil prison.

"Really? Come on, that's not cool," Jacob grumbled.

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**Well, I hope this makes up for my lateness. Review! Please give any suggestions about future chapters in a review and I will try to incorporate them.  
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	11. We May All Die In A Month?

**Hi, so here's chapter 11. I really need some reviews!**

**I've written a new story and updated two stories. Hope you read and review!**

**Disclaimer:**** Ja****ne posjedujete****Twilight****. (Croatian)**

**Bella POV:**

After several hours of struggling, my family and I were able to break free of our muddy prisons. Jacob and Seth tried to phase their way out, thinking that the sudden fur-splosion would destroy the hardened mud immediately, but it only cut off their circulation to to their lower halves. Once Eddward had gotten free, he went off to find the girl Zari had nearly killed. She was a mile away from where we thought we left her. Edward carried her as we ran back to the house.

By the time we got home, all of our clothes were caked with mud. We had already healed from Zari's attack, and we were just trying to clean ourselves off before we all went to shower. We left the still changing girl in the guest room.

After we fully cleaned ourselves off, Carlisle called down everyone for a meeting. We met in the dining room. Jacob, Seth, Leah, Nessie, and I all sat down at the table. Carlisle was standing at the head, with Esme to his right. Jasper and Alice were leaning on the wall opposite the doorway. Rose and Emmett were standing in the doorway. Edward was standing in the corner, but was fully interested in the topic.

So, I am sure we all know why we are here. This Zari girl seems to be a big problem," Carlisle said, stating the obvious. Jasper nodded. Jacob hummed in agreement.

''How could she take on all twelve of us at the same time?" Emmett asked, truly confused.

"I know how," Jasper answered, "We were careless. We though because it was twelve against one, we wouldn't have to put any effort into it. She was giving her all, but at the same time, she didn't have to because we weren't really trying."

"I think Jasper's right," I said. It was true. I even thought it was fun.

"Well, regardless of what we did wrong, Zari still drank a human. How do we deal with this?" Esme wondered.

"We can't just suddenly attack again. You guys know about that coven's powers. If we attack, they may be able to take us down easily," Rosalie said adamantly.

"I think we just have to give them another warning. There is nothing else we can do. If we go to the Volturi, they will just freak out that two large covens, especially one as powerful as theirs, are together in the same place," Edward told the family.

Carlisle nodded. "I'm afraid Edward and Rosalie are right. We can't attack again and we can't alert the Volturi. We may just have to tell the rest of her coven to control her," he proposed.

Just then, the doorbell rang. I looked at Edward in confusion. It's midnight, why would someone be at the door? Leah got up slowly and walked to the front door. She gasped at whoever it was.

"Why are all of you here?" Leah questioned.

Immediately everyone rushed into the foyer to see the Haywood coven. Isaac was in the middle, holding a pissed off Zari by the arm, with Nali and Lani to his right, and Zane and Nathan to his left. Nali and Lani looked bored. The other men just looked calm. Isaac yanked Zari, and she hissed at him. Then she sighed.

"I just wanted to say, that I'm sorry for whooping your sorry asses-OW!" Zari was apologizing, but was interrupted by Isaac, who roughly yanked her arm again after she started insulting us.

"I mean, I'm sorry that I assaulted you, even though it was twelve against one and I could have been easily killed if you guys were actually focusing instead of just-OW!" Zari screamed, interrupting herself. Isaac had yanked her arm again.

"Are you done attacking your wife, or are you just going to keep abusing me?" Zari asked Isaac sarcastically. Oh, God, I smell a fight coming on…

"Hey, I am just trying to make sure you don't screw up your apology," Isaac told her sternly.

She rolled her eyes. "I didn't even want to give this apology, they should be saying sorry to me! I was the victim here!"

"Yes, but you are the one who drank from the human!" Isaac reminded her rudely.

"You know exactly why I had to drink form that human, so don't even pretend like-" Zari was ranting, but she cut herself off again. Zari slowly turned to us.

"Wait. I didn't kill that girl. Is she…where is she now?" Zari asked delicately, although it sounded forced.

"She's upstairs, turning into a bloodsucker," Jacob sneered at her. A frantic look appeared in her eyes, and started growling. My family tensed, in case Zari went off again and attacked us.

"WHAT! Oh Lord, what are we going to do? This is my entire fault. Granted, this is your fault too, but this is mainly my fault. I shouldn't have…" Zari mumbled to herself.

"As much as we enjoy listening to you slowly entering insanity by talking to yourself, can you please get to the point?" Alice asked sassily. Zari glared at Alice quickly, but then her gaze shifted to the upstairs guest room where that girl was in.

"Listen to me, okay? That girl was sent from the Volturi. I found her snooping around in my house a couple days ago. She was going through my drawers and my laptop. After multiple hours of torturing that I'm completely proud of, she admitted that the Volturi told her to come her and investigate our coven. They had caught wind the the Cullens moved to Wichita, and since they were already aware the we were here, they believed that we were conspiring to take them down. Or, at least that's what I am assuming. The girl was dumb as spit. I'm basically trying to bring the pieces together. Otherwise, I'm just as clueless as the Dumb Ass on Campus over there is on a daily basis," Zari told us, pointing to Emmett at the end. Emmett stuck his tongue out at Zari, but she growled at him to make sure he backed off.

"I housed her for about two days, trying to get more information out of her, but after the fight I noticed her scent in the forest. She was trying to escape. I thought the best solution would be to kill her, but now I realize that would have been a grave mistake. If I killed her, the Volturi would have caught on that she was dead, and would have just attacked us all the sooner. But, if we turn her, it might be worse. She might be able to go back to the Volturi," Zari finished her story.

"So, basically what you're saying that we may all die by the end of the month," Edward asked, summing up Zari's explanation.

"Yes," Zane spoke from behind Isaac.

"Great," Seth said, drawing out the word.

Why can't life/death/immortality be easier?

**I know this is short, but I'm kinda tired…Review!**


	12. Mental Affair

**Okay, so I got my very own laptop, so chapters will most likely come more frequently when the school year starts. I want to thank my second to last anonymous reviewer for his/her review last chapter. **

**Also, to INSANITY IS GOOD (who I'm pretty sure has an account on FF, but I'm too lazy to PM) thank you for the review, love the name (because it's very sad that so many people think insanity is a **_**bad**_** thing), and I'm glad that you like my writing style. It's not cheesy at all.**

**Disclaimer: Twilight non propria. (Latin)**

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**Bella POV:**

"Okay, so, explain this to me again?" I asked for the seventh time. I was having a really hard time trying to get this into my head. Zari groaned and rolled her eyes. She pulled out a flask, shook it, and took a swig.

"Nathan, for the love of Jack Daniels, please explain once again so that it can understand," Zari begged. I hissed quietly at her. I don't like being referred to as an 'it.' That's what Jacob is supposed to be called. Edward smirked at that thought, but went back to frowning at Zari a moment later.

Nathan sighed and shoved the music player into his jacket pocket. He didn't move from his sprawled position on our living room floor. He tilted his head slightly to the left and began to retell the whole story.

"The girl Zari was trying to kill was allegedly sent from the Volturi. We're not exactly sure, as the only information we are getting is from a pothead, ill-tempered, alcoholic, but-"

"Hey, I am not ill-tempered," Zari spat, not acknowledging the other two traits.

"_Anyway_, we're still not sure. Zari says that by trying to kill her she was throwing the Volturi off all of our trails. But, she may have made a mistake by not seeing that murdering her may cause the Volturi to act faster. At the same time, if she does change, she will probably run off to the Volturi to confirm their suspicions if she sees us together," Nathan continued while drumming his fingers on the floor.

"Like I said, we all may die in a month," Seth repeated sarcastically from his seat at the dining table. The screams from the girl upstairs filled the temporary silence. Emmett decided to speak.

"Thank you, Seth, for the wonderful sarcasm," I told him, smiling wryly.

Seth winked at me, saying, "You are very welcome, Bells," in a British accent. I rolled my eyes and snuggled into Edward's chest.

"So…what are we going to do?" Emmett awkwardly asked.

"I don't know," Carlisle answered, rubbing his chin.

"That's helpful," Jasper muttered, aggravated.

Carlisle looked at Zari expectantly. Rosalie apparently noticed the look Carlisle gave Zari as well.

"What the Hell are you looking at her for? She is the one who caused this drastic chain of events," she sneered. Zari got up from her upside-down position on our loveseat in a split second and got up in Rosalie's face.

"You listen to me, Marilyn Monroe. If anyone is to blame, here it is you and your stupid-ass family. You need to do some damn research before you go moving every five minutes. Everyone else in the vampire world knows who and where we are, but you had to be the ignorant bunch of vamps. You moved onto our territory, and now, I may not live to see February," Zari hissed, with venom dripping from every word.

"You said it yourself, it was your fault to begin with. And can you please stop with the hurtful name calling! Some members of this family are sensitive," Jasper said, mumbling the last sentence. He put his hand on Rosalie's shoulder to calm her down. Jacob snorted at Jasper's statement while Emmett let out a big laugh.

Zari reached down into her bra (left boob) and pulled out another flask. I could tell from the aroma that it was filled with rum. She took a sip and sighed.

"I also said that it was your fault as well for housing the bitch after I had already attacked. Seeing our covens together and socializing doesn't really help our case. And Rhinestone Cowboy, get your balls out of your dwarf's purse because I'm not stopping the insults," Zari replied, still glaring into Rosalie's eyes. Alice pouted, while Jasper glared at Zari.

The shrieks and yells from the girl upstairs were suddenly cut off. I looked at Carlisle, as did everyone else in the room. A moment later we dashed up to the guest room. The girl was gone.

"How…how…?" Esme wondered aloud. Edward's arm slid around my waist and pulled me closer protectively. Emmett tensed, glancing over his shoulder every few seconds in case of an attack. Jasper was also tense, scanning the room for any suspicious movements. Alice was in a daze, probably looking for visions about the now-missing girl. Edward's eyes were closed, so I'm guessing he's searching for the girl's thoughts. Zari was…sniffing? Okay… The rest of us were pondering the girl's disappearance. Zane was about to say something when it happened.

The smell. It was a vampire's scent, but I couldn't place whose scent it was. Now I see why Zari was sniffing all over the place! Another vampire came in and kidnapped the girl. But, I still couldn't place the scent…It was a woodsy type smell, so I'm assuming it was a nomad, or a newborn. The scent of peaches and ginger was also there.

"Do you smell that?" Isaac asked tentatively. Most of us nodded minutely, and the rest hummed their responses.

"It smells like vampire…I bet someone took that chick from us!" Jacob exclaimed, his eyes lighting up. Zari rolled her eyes.

"Why thank you, Fido, for that news flash. We would have never known that. It's not as if the rest of us have super human senses or anything," Zari said scathingly.

"Zari, not now," Isaac warned her, sticking his hand out as if to say 'stop.' Zari's eyes flashed with anger as she turned her head to glare at her mate.

"What?" Zari demanded.

"We're having a crisis right now, and we don't have time for your sarcasm," Isaac replied, closing his eyes. I smell a fight brewing…

"First of all, there is always time for sarcasm, and second of all, piss off," Zari said sassily. She crossed her arms and rested on the wall.

The rest of Zari's coven sighed and sat on the floor. I looked at them in confusion. Nali saw the look I gave her and said, "You might as well get comfortable. This may take a while." She motioned over to the now arguing Zari and Isaac.

"Zari, please, I really don't want to start this," Isaac begged.

"Then why pick a fight with me?" Zari asked, her eyes narrowing. She took a step closer to Isaac, getting in his face. Isaac took a step forward as well, making them nose to nose. Isaac angrily sighed, and continued to speak.

"I'm not trying to pick a fight with you, I'm just saying, we're have a situation to deal with, and-"

"Oh, more pressing than our marriage falling apart?"

"To be fair, it was never together to begin with," Isaac said nonchalantly.

Zari's fists clenched and her eyes lit up with anger. Isaac folded his arms across his chest, looking Zari right in the eye.

"What are you-," Zari started, but was cut off.

"_Anyway_, yes, there's another vampire scent in there. Jacob may be right, someone might have taken her from the house," Isaac said, interrupting his wife. Alice shook her head no.

"But why didn't I see this?" She looked very upset, with her eyes at the floor and her bottom lip quivering. I felt so bad for her. Whenever she can't see something big happening, she feels useless. She should know that she is a big part of this family because of who she is, not her visions.

"Alice, I don't know why you didn't see this. Maybe it was a last second decision, or someone tried to purposely avoid you," Carlisle told her reassuringly. Esme nodded, showing her agreement with her husband's answer.

"I think it's the latter," Emmett blurted out. We looked at him, waiting for him to elaborate on his answer. Emmett saw our stares, took a deep breath, and began to tell us his theory.

"Well, think about it. If what Zari said is true, about the Volturi and the girl being sent to us, then it would complete sense. Aro, or whoever is behind this, probably didn't count on the chick getting changed. I mean, her being human was probably supposed to make her look pretty ordinary, so we wouldn't notice her. If she was changed, they would have no other use for her, since she would obviously blow her cover if she was a vampire. We'd be too suspicious for her to watch our every move with us acting out on our misgivings," he stated. Emmett sounded very confident in his answer. The man makes a good point, too.

"Wow, the big oaf actually makes a great point. But the question is, how would the Volturi know that we changed anyone- even their spy- this fast? Unless…" Zari trailed off, her eyes widening as she reached for her boob-flask again.

"Unless, she wasn't the spy," Leah finished for Zari. I stifled a gasp.

"But that doesn't make sense. Why would a human just break into their house, look through their belongings, and then claim to be sent by the Volturi? What human with any sense of self-preservation would do that?" Renesmee asked, her eyebrows furrowing. I agreed with her, and by the looks of it so did everyone else. We have no idea what human would do that.

"We're not saying that she lied, we're saying that she may not be the spy," Rosalie muttered. At first, I thought it was just a sarcastic remark. But Nali's eyes widened as she registered what Rose said.

"Rosalie's right. Just because she isn't the spy doesn't mean she isn't telling the truth," Nali reasoned, emphasizing her words with frantic arm movements.

"But then why would anyone, especially the Volturi, waste their time with a human if they are of no use to them?" Jasper wondered aloud.

"Because the human would be of use to them; a decoy," Nathan verbalized. I could tell he came to the realization as he was speaking.

"It's genius. Find a human, make them think they have to spy on these vampires-probably with the promise of immortality-, send them over, and then send the real spy. The girl was just a distraction. The Volturi would never send in a human to do their dirty work. That's what the guard…is…for…oh, shit," Alice trailed off, comprehending the situation. I was confused, as well as everyone else in the room, with the exception of Edward.

"Wait, what do you mean?" Seth inquired. God, I hate when Alice and Edward use their abilities without letting everyone else in on their musings. They could be having a mental affair for all I know! Oh my God, what if they were? Oh, my best friend and my husband of 100 years. How could they do this to me? To Jasper? Oh God, this is gonna kill Jasper! And what about-

"BELLA! There is no such thing as a mental affair! That doesn't even make any sense! If you don't stop overreacting, I swear I will take away your book privileges for a week!" Edward exclaimed, sounding completely exasperated.

Man, I _really_ need to control my shield better! This is just getting ridiculous!

I gasped at Edward's outburst. "You wouldn't dare," I hissed threateningly, my eyes narrowing into slits.

"Bella, you know I would. Plus, the only person I would want to have a mental affair with is you," Edward replied, at first sounding dangerous until it changed to loving. I melted a little inside. I then face-palmed. Mental affair? My God, what is wrong with me? It must be all the stress of this Volturi thing.

"I'm sorry, Edward. I know you would never cheat on me, mental or physically. Not when you have such a willing wife at home," I whispered in his ear, wrapping my arms lazily around his shoulders. Edward turned and kissed me on the lips. I smiled into the kiss. It was light and innocent.

"Um, excuse me! Although I'm really happy that after 100 years, you guys are still crazy for each other, I really don't want to watch my parents make out in front of me while THERE IS A CRISIS GOING ON THAT MAY RESULT IN ALL OF US DYING," Renesmee belted out, looking disgusted. I pulled away from Edward, and laid my head on his shoulder. I felt like blushing, but I settled for looking at the ground while the rest of our family snickered. Edward just smirked.

"_Anyway_," Zari pronounced, looking annoyed, "what Tinkerbell means is that the Volturi sent the human over, making her think she needed to spy on us, knowing that because humans are easily spotted due to our vampire senses, we would be able to find her out immediately. We would be so consumed with why this human knows the secret and why she was going James Bond on us that we wouldn't realize that someone from the guard was really doing some espionage on us." I finally understood.

That makes sense. The Volturi is getting more and more suspicious of us, probably because of the huge Cullen coven, not to mention the werewolf pack. If they found out that we moved to the same area as this coven, they would probably think we're going to ambush them. The Volturi easily gets paranoid when it comes to their power. I think the fact that we still have the wolves on our side doesn't make Caius happy, so that doesn't help.

"So, that means that whichever member of the guard they sent saw the girl changing, so they kidnapped her. They probably want to kill her, so she can't spill the beans about her involvement in all of this, unless she has a power," I expressed to everyone.

"But there is a major whole in this story. Why would the Volturi suddenly act on this now? Even with two large covens in the area, Aro wouldn't just suddenly attack. Caius would, that pugnacious son of a bitch, but not Aro. He's even friends with Carlisle, meaning he knows how passive Carlisle is. What the Volturi's M.O.?" Isaac pressed, truly bewildered. Everyone was staring at Isaac, starting to wonder the same thing. Silence overtook the room.

Until it was broken by the sound of my daughter's scream.

* * *

**DUN. **

**DUN.**

**DAAAAAAAH.**

**Cliffhanger! Review! You can give me constructive criticism, ideas for future chapters (especially with the whole Volturi thing, I'm kinda stumped on that one), or just giving me your opinion of the story. **


	13. CONSTANT VIGILANCE!

**Hi! I'm going back to school for my freshman year in three weeks. (Sept. 8) I'm really excited. School starts on a Thursday, so at least the weekend gonna come right after. Also, my birthday is the weekend before that. So, if anything, review my story to wish me happy birthday.**

**Disclaimer: Ben Twilight ait değil. (Turkish)  
**

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_Previously on School Sucks:_

_That makes sense. The Volturi is getting more and more suspicious of us, probably because of the huge Cullen coven, not to mention the werewolf pack. If they found out that we moved to the same area as this coven, they would probably think we're going to ambush them. The Volturi easily gets paranoid when it comes to their power. I think the fact that we still have the wolves on our side doesn't make Caius happy, so that doesn't help. _

"_So, that means that whichever member of the guard they sent saw the girl changing, so they kidnapped her. They probably want to kill her, so she can't spill the beans about her involvement in all of this, unless she has a power," I expressed to everyone. _

"_But there is a major hole in this story. Why would the Volturi suddenly act on this now? Even with two large covens in the area, Aro wouldn't just suddenly attack. Caius would, that pugnacious son of a bitch, but not Aro. He's even friends with Carlisle, meaning he knows how passive Carlisle is. What the Volturi's M.O.?" Isaac pressed, truly bewildered. Everyone was staring at Isaac, starting to wonder the same thing. Silence overtook the room._

_Until it was broken by the sound of my daughter's scream_.

**Bella POV:**

"Renesmee, are you okay?" Edward asked immediately after her screaming stopped. All eyes were on her. Renesmee was gasping for air and clutching Jacob's arm. I felt panic gnaw at my heart.

"I…I saw…," Nessie trailed off, still wide-eyed and panting. Edward gave me a worried glance before looking back at our daughter.

"Yes, yes, what did you see?" Rosalie urged. She was practically Renesmee's second mother. If Ness didn't look like human me and I didn't die giving birth to her, and I didn't know Edward, and she didn't know Emmett, and…well, you get the point.

"I saw a spider," Nessie confessed. I felt my jaw go slack. That was it? A freaking spider? That's what got my daughter so riled up?

Everyone emitted a loud groan of annoyance. Nessie looked outraged.

"What?" She barked, her eyes narrowing. Jasper rolled his eyes.

"You got us worried sick for a stupid spider?" Jacob asked his wife bitingly. Nessie promptly smacked his arm.

"It wasn't just a stupid spider! It was big, and hairy, and had a bunch of eyes!" Renesmee exclaimed. I shook my head, disappointed. What kind of daughter did I raise?

"You sound like an eight year old," Emmett teased, nudging my daughter on the shoulder.

"Do not!" Nessie yelled, stamping her foot. Emmett took this as a challenge. He really isn't an idiot. He's just really playful. But sometimes he can take it too far.

"Do so!"

"Do not!"

"Do so!"

"Do not!"

"Do so!"

"Do no-"

"SHUT UP!" Zari bellowed. Her shout echoed throughout the house. There was an awkward silence for about thirty seconds, and then I decided to break it.

"So, back to the Volturi…what are we going to do?"

It was silent again for a few moments.

"Well, statistically speaking, we have maybe ten hours until the girl gets to the Volturi. If a member of the guard really did steal the girl, they would probably just run back to Volterra, so the girl wouldn't risk exposing them. Knowing the Volturi, it will take them a couple weeks before they act. Maybe three weeks," Jasper said, in full Civil War soldier-mode. Carlisle nodded knowingly.

"Well, we have to leave them. We can't risk a fight here in Wichita, there are too many humans around," Leah told us. She has a point. Wichita is a lot bigger than Forks (population wise) and we can't risk innocent lives.

"But where would we go?" Seth wondered, scratching his head. I saw Alice close her eyes for a moment in my peripheral vision.

"We don't have a definite location. We just end up traveling all over the place, starting with what looks like South America," Alice expressed, looking a little stressed from the lack of clarity in her visions.

"It looks like we're paying Zafrina a visit, then," Esme muttered.

"Yes, yes, I was thinking of heading there first myself. I think we may need to do what we did after Nessie was born; gather the other vampires of the world and use them to face off the Volturi," Carlisle uttered, rubbing his chin.

"But wait, we're in the middle of the school year. How are two different families going to just suddenly drop out without raising suspicion?" Zane asked in his deep voice.

"I think I may have an idea," Zari said wickedly. A smirk slowly formed on her face.

I shuddered.

* * *

**Bella POV:**

"Okay, this is the plan-" Zari started to say, until Emmett interrupted her.

"Hey, why do you get to be in charge?"

"Because I came up with the plan, Dough Boy, not sit and shut up," Zari barked at Emmett. He glared at her, but did not speak again.

"Now, this is what's going to go down. There will be three teams; Team A for Action, Team B for Booking, and Team C for Constant Vigilance. Team A will consist of me, Fatty, Blondie, and She-Wolf. Team B will be Vamp Mom, Vamp Doctor, Nali, Vampire and Human Swirl, Brun, Lani, and Confedeloser. Team C will be Mind Rapist, Isaac, Zane, Scooby-Doo, and Miss Cleo," Zari explained.

In case you didn't understand any of those insulting names, here is what she meant to say:

Fatty- Emmett, Blondie- Rosalie, She-Wolf- Leah, Scooby Doo- Jacob, Vamp Mom- Esme, Vamp Doctor- Carlisle, Vampire and Human Swirl- Nessie, Brun-Me, Confedeloser- Jasper, Mind Rapist- Edward, and Miss Cleo- Alice. Trust me; I wouldn't have known if she didn't look at us every time she said a name.

"Team A will break into the school. We will wreck the school to the point that it is so damaged that all of the students will gave to temporarily be shifted to neighboring schools. Since there are so many students at Wichita High, they will spread out kids over a couple schools. No one will notice we're gone. Team B will go pack all of our necessary essentials at both this house and my coven's house. One bag each, and make them small. Then, they will go to the ATM and get out as much money as possible. Next, bring all of our bags to the airport, where you will purchase twenty one way tickets to Mato Grosso du Sul, first class of course, and leave enough money for emergencies. Team C will go with Team A to make deactivate the school's security system and cameras. You will also be the lookouts. So, pay attention Mind Rapist and Miss Cleo. We will rendezvous at the airport by 4:00 AM. That's four hours from now, so Team B, book a flight for 5:00 AM the earliest. Use the money from the ATM so you don't leave a paper trail," Zari explicated.

I was dumbfounded, as well as everyone else in the room with the exception of Zari. That's a really good plan.

"But wait, what about me?" Seth inquired.

"And me?" Nathan asked as well.

"And why do we need twenty tickets if there are only eighteen of us?" Renesmee questioned.

"Well, Nathan, whose going to pick up the bitches?" Zari asked rhetorically, rolling her eyes at him. Nathan's eyes widened and he groaned.

"AW! I don't wanna pick up the bitches!" Nathan complained. Seth looked very bewildered.

"Who are the bitches?" Seth asked warily. Zari ignored his question.

"Why are we going to Mayo Grotto de Sol?" Jacob queried, turning to Carlisle for an answer.

Rosalie smacked Jacob on the back of his head. He yelped, and slowly rubbed his head wound.

"That's the state of Brazil that Zafrina and her coven live in, idiot," Rosalie explained to Jacob, although not in the nicest way possible. Not that I expected her to be nice.

"So, do we all get the plan?" Carlisle questioned. We all nodded.

"All right then, let's go!"

* * *

**Leah POV:**

Ugh. I cannot believe I am working under Zari's orders. I fucking hate the bitch. I still have a bald spot from when she shaved off a chunk of my hair. She's lucky I don't tackle her right now.

Team B went to work immediately went to work. Alice and Isaac were standing on the north and south points of the school, while Edward and Zane were already inside the school, trying to disable the security system. My brother and Nathan were picking up the 'bitches'. Team A was just chilling outside the school, waiting for Team C to finish up.

"My God, how long could this possibly take?" Emmett groaned out for the seventh time. Rosalie swatted him on the back of the head, trying to make him shut up.

"Emmett, calm down. It takes time to break into a school," Rosalie hissed at him.

"Well, at least we get to wear these cool outfits," Emmett said more to himself than to his wife. It's true, we were all wearing black. Black long sleeve shirts, black pants, black Converse, black boots, black gloves, and black ski masks. Except for Alice, who opted to wear black leggings, a black mini skirt, a black tank top and a black cardigan.

"Oh, look here they come," Zari said, sounding greatly annoyed. Edward and Zane exited the building, smirking.

"Okay, it's all yours," Edward smugly stated. I rolled my eyes at his attitude and walked inside the school.

Zari began to give us instructions.

"The reason I chose you three is because you all have anger issues. Well, Barbie and Nala **(AN: The female lion in The Lion King) **have anger issues, and No Brains All Brawn is just strong. So, therefore, you two will follow me into all the school bathrooms. Big Boy will go into the basement and absolutely destroy the switch box. Finally, we will all meet in the cafeteria to cut all the gas lines to the school ovens and puncture the heater in the basement. Do NOT touch any of the gas lines or the heater until we meet in the cafeteria. Break!" Zari screeched.

Rosalie, Zari, and I immediately used our superhuman speed to race to the girl's bathrooms. Zari handed us sledgehammers and took one for her. I do not know where the sledgehammers came from.

"Girls, ruin these pipes!" Zari demanded. I smirked. This would be a great way to take out my anger. I headed towards the sinks and swung viciously, striking one of the main pipes. Water splashed everywhere. I laughed wickedly at the sight of the destruction.

Water slowly pooled at my feet. I couldn't help but feel supreme satisfaction. I have always wanted to vandalize a school. I turned to wreck the next sink when I noticed Zari and Rosalie's incredulous stares at me.

"What? I have a lot of repressed anger…," I said defensively.

* * *

**Jacob POV:**

I sighed as I leaned against the school's back wall. This is so boring. Why couldn't I be a part of Team A? At least then I would be doing something. Or Team B? Sure, I'd be packing, but at least I wouldn't have to be standing here bored. And then, I would be with Nessie. Ah, Nessie. I already miss her. I really wish she was here. We could be talking, or making ou-

"Listen, dog, I miss Bella, but do you see me thinking about making out with her every minute? No! Now stop thinking about fondling my daughter and pay attention!" Edward whispered harshly to me from the east wall of the school. Even though it was a whisper, my wolf hearing could pick up on it.

"Of course I don't see you thinking about that! I can't see into your mind, bloodsucker! Besides, you're probably just thinking about doing Bella, not kissing her," I guessed, feeling a bit cocky.

"I…You…Okay, regardless of what I may or may not be thinking of, stop thinking about my baby girl!" Edward stammered. I smirked.

_Is someone's mind in the gutter, leech? I don't blame you. If you are half as attracted to Bella as I am to Nessie, then I would be thinking of nailing-_

"JACOB, SHUT THE HELL UP!" Edward bellowed, not caring about his environment.

"Edward, quiet! Somebody could hear us!" Alice scolded. I could hear Edward growl.

_Ha, ha. Somebody's in trouble! _

I heard Edward growl again, only a bit louder. Oh, I know what will really get him mad.

_You know Edward; I love Nessie with all my heart. But I can't decide. Is Nessie a better kisser than Bella? With Bella, it was a hot kiss, but with Nessie, it's a fiery type of-_

"ARGH!" Was all I heard before Edward was in front of me, choking me to death.

* * *

**Renesmee POV:**

I bent down to reach the zipper for Jacob's mini suitcase. I had already finished packing mine, his, Alice's, Rose's, and Leah's. My mom had only packed Emmett's and Jasper's, and she had to go with Grandma Esme to the ATM. Grandma Esme packed hers, Grandpa Carlisle's and Seth's. Mom asked me to pack hers and dad's. She told me to take enough clothing for about two weeks, along with her iPad and phone. I know that's hard to cram into one suitcase, but if there's one thing I learned from Alice, it's how to cram a bunch of clothes into a small space.

Grandpa Carlisle and Jasper went to the airport in order to save a space in line. Even at night, the airport is always packed. Nali and Lani went to their house to pack their belongings. So, I was all alone, packing away. Once I finished, I was going to meet up with mom and Grandma Esme at the ATM. I know which one they're at, and with all the money we have, they are going to be there awhile. They're withdrawing about $50,000 cash from an ATM with a withdrawal limit of $200. Yeah, it's a lot.

So, I went into my parents' bedroom. It was very similar to my father's room in Forks. A wall of CDs, a huge window/wall, a large bed in the middle. Oh, gross, the sheets we're all rumpled and a pair of boxers are on the floor next to a bra. EW. I shuddered before moving towards the closet.

I grabbed a couple pairs of jeans for my mom and my dad. I also took some tanks, tees, pretty blouses, shorts, and skirts for my mom. A couple tees, two button downs, and a hoodie for my dad. Pretty simple. I walked to one of their drawers to get some underwear. Yes, I know, touching your parents' underwear isn't nice, but I'm a mature young lady. I opened one drawer and took some panties for my mom. It wasn't so bad if I didn't think about it. Granted, I did gag when one pair had 'Edward's" written across the front with an arrow pointing down, but the rest was okay.

I pulled out another drawer, which was filled with my dad's boxers. I had taken about eleven pairs before I noticed I piece of paper sticking out under one of the boxers. I picked it up and read it aloud.

"Positions to try out with Bella-oh, EW EW EWWWW!"

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**Emmett POV:**

I ambled into the cafeteria, taking my time. I just finished wrecking the switch box in the school's basement. I am quite proud of my work. They will need to rewire the entire school!

I entered the lunch room to see Zari, laying on a table, drinking from one of her flasks, my Rosie filing her nails while leaning on a wall, and Leah listening to her iPod. Rosalie looked up and smiled.

"We've been waiting for you, Em," Rosalie told me. I walked up to her and kissed her cheek. She giggled. Leah and Zari snorted.

"Okay, you missed each other, we get it. Now come on, take the hedge clippers," Zari commanded us. We each took a pair of hedge clippers (we still don't know where she's getting these tools from) and walked over to the kitchen.

"Now, you all know what to do! Cut the gas lines!" Zari cheered. This is the first time she actually sounded happy. We immediately ran towards the kitchen. We found the ovens, and started snapping away at the gas lines. I started to smell the gas leaking into the atmosphere.

Ten minutes after we finished all the cutting, Zari spoke.

"Okay, we have about ten seconds until the school implodes," Zari said casually. Within one second, Leah, Rose, Zari, and I were bolting towards the school doors. As we left the school building, I shouted back to Team C.

"RUN! IT'S GONNA BLOW!" I shouted.

Team C ran behind us. By the time we got ten yards away, we heard the explosions. We all turned around to watch.

"Wow," Alice admired. Pieces of the ceiling blew up through the roof. Fire was raging through the windows and doors. Water was spilling through the cracks in the walls and through the underside of doors. One of the school freezers flew up into the air and landed into one of the trees.

"It's like fireworks," Isaac marveled. One of the burning pieces landed on Jacob's head.

"AH! AH! HELP! AH!" The rest of Team C and all of Team A began laughing at his pain.

"Should we help him?" Leah asked.

Everyone with the exception to Jacob looked up and rubbed our chins, pretending to contemplate.

"Nah," we all chorused. Well, except Jacob, who was now sobbing.

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**Review now, my pretties! And yes, this chapter's title is a reference to Harry Potter's Mad Eye Moody. His catch phrase was "CONSTANT VIGILANCE!"**


	14. Banana Hammock?

**So…high school is a lot to get used to. Sorry I haven't updated in six thousand years, but I'm writing this chapter and I MIGHT have another chapter for next weekend, but I wouldn't bet on it.**

**Also, I have another story posted. It has like 70 hits, but no reviews, so review if you like it.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Twilight; if I did, I would be busy making Edward burn all of his shirts.**

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**Bella POV:**

Airports.

Fucking.

Suck.

Donkey balls.

Seriously, they do. We have been trapped in the Wichita airport for the past five and a half hours. Our flight was delayed three times. It's 9:30 AM. I was watching the local news. Our little stunt at Wichita High is the top story. There is no footage available to prove that any of us were there. The police are completely baffled.

Ah, the satisfaction of property damage.

Anyway, back to airports sucking balls. I, along with my family, am completely bored. Emmett was staring blankly at the wall, his mouth slightly open. Rosalie was lazily filing her nails. Alice was flipping through an old copy of _Vogue_ that was on the airport coffee table. Jacob was popping tic tacs in his mouth. Esme and Carlisle were snuggling, but they still looked bored. Edward was listening to his iPod and holding my hand. Nessie was sleeping, with her head on Jacob's lap. Lani, Nali, and Zari were playing poker. Isaac, Nathan, and Zane were playing against each other on their PSPs. Jasper was reading his newest issue of _Time_. Seth and Leah were quietly bickering about something. There were a view other people waiting for their flights to Mato Grosso du Sul, most of them were either sleeping or watching the news.

So bored…

Our newest flight time was at 12:15 PM. Only another three hours; that isn't too bad.

Okay, I'm in denial. It's freaking terrible.

I think Emmett is going insane with boredom. Staring at a wall can do that to you.

"Okay, that's it! I have to do something that will burn two hours!" Emmett exclaimed. We decided to get to our flight gate as soon as possible by going through security early.

"Why don't you play Angry Birds or Fruit Ninja?" Jasper suggested, not looking up from his magazine.

"I already beat Angry Birds and Fruit Ninja is really easy to play once you've hit 150,000 points," Emmett answered back.

"Why don't you read a magazine?" Alice asked him.

"Why do I want to read back issues of People?" Emmett replied, rolling his eyes.

"Why don't you go play with matches and gasoline?" Zari proposed scathingly. Emmett didn't bother to respond. Instead, his eyes lit up as he finally thought of something to do.

"Alice, can you give me some of your makeup?"

"Wow, Emmett. I didn't know cross dressing was your new thing," Edward said sarcastically. I looked to my right to see my husband with his head thrown back on the chair, eyes closed.

"Fuck you, Eddie-Boy. I'm going to use it to disguise myself," Emmett explained, with his eyebrows furrowed.

"And you need to disguise yourself because…" Jacob trailed off, giving Emmett a side glance.

" Because I am going to cause a riot and I don't want to risk being thrown out of the airport," Emmett deadpanned.

"Just don't get tasered, honey, that's all I ask," Esme mumbled, not caring about Emmett's next idiotic move.

Wow. Esme is either too bored to care, or she is just used to this type of thing from Emmett.

"It's probably both," Edward muttered to me. This time, I left my shield open on purpose in hopes that maybe I could have some sort of enthralling mind chat with my husband. Obviously, I was disappointed.

"Aren't you supposed to be listening to music?" I asked him.

"Isn't Jacob supposed to turn into a dog every full moon instead of whenever he's PMS-ing?"

I chuckled in response while Jacob glared at his father in law. Emmett started to dig through Alice's carry-on, before he pulled out Leah's foundation and some black eyeliner. Alice likes to keep back up makeup for everyone in the family. Emmett then took his carry-on and marched over to the bathroom. Five seconds later, Alice and Edward were hysterically laughing. Alice was hardly breathing (not that she needed to) and Edward collapsed on the ground, his hand still entwined with mine. He was laughing so hard that he was vibrating, which caused me to start shaking.

"What's up with them?" Zane asked in his deep voice. We all shrugged. Jasper and I look at our mates with our eyebrows raised. They both just weakly pointed at the men's bathroom Emmett walked into.

What I saw next may have been the most scarring thing in my existence.

Emmett had poured Leah's foundation all over his body, giving him a much darker complexion. He used the eyeliner to draw a fake mustache, make his eyebrows look much bushier, and give himself a mole. He was wearing a bright yellow banana hammock. He essentially looked like a sunburnt Borat.

I have never seen so much pubic hair. Edward just has this neat little trail…

Not the point.

A few women screamed at the sight of my gargantuan brother in such a small, ill-fitting…outfit. Most of the men laughed right out loud. Some of the younger women wolf whistled thought, because the banana hammock left nothing to the imagination. Rosalie glared all of the women down for staring at her man.

After about thirty seconds of standing motionless, Emmett began jogging through the airport, screaming nothing in particular. He nearly ran into this old woman, who smacked his ass as he jogged by.

My family's reactions were quite different though. Jasper, Jacob, Nathan, Isaac, Seth, and Zane all joined Edward on the floor, hysterically laughing. Rosalie was shaking her head in shame, but couldn't help but laugh at her stupidiotic husband. Carlisle and Esme were leaning on each other for support; both of them overcome by their laughter. Lani and Nali were cheering Emmett on, laughing in between chants of, "Go, Borat, Go!" Nessie, who woke up once Jacob fell to the ground (which made her head hit the metal chair), looked up to see her uncle in almost all of his naked glory. Her eyes widened before she gagged and promptly fainted. Zari already took out her Android phone and was recording the whole thing. I was rendered speechless.

It wasn't long before airport security (two fat guys) began chasing Emmett throughout the terminal. Emmett noticed his followers and started throwing things at them, such as brochures, magazines, and bottles that had been left or dropped on the floor.

One of the security guys called for backup. Hearing this, Emmett jumped on one of those airport wheelchair collector car things and drove away. He began singing Party Rock Anthem.

About fourteen airport security guys were trying to get Emmett to pull over. Emmett abruptly hit the brake on the car, making around eight or nine of the guards slam into the machine and fall on their asses. Emmett restarted the vehicle, zooming around the terminal, knocking down chairs and tables. Some flight attendants tried to block his way, but he just drove around them. I couldn't help but start laughing at this, too.

I looked over at Carlisle, who was still guffawing, and said, "Be prepared to bail out your son again." That just made Carlisle laugh harder, if possible.

So, this is what it takes to break Emmett free of boredom. Huh. I never would have guessed.

I looked down at my watch. Oh my God, it's 10:50! Idiocy really takes up a lot of time.

I whispered at vampire pitch, "Em, it's ten to 11. You can stop now." Emmett nodded slightly, before going in reverse, knocking down all of his pursuers. With the security guards temporarily immobile, Emmett sprinted (human speed) back to the men's bathroom. Five minutes later, the guards and attendants were already up, but looking around confused. They didn't see where Emmett went. Emmett then casually walked out of the bathroom, back to his pale and normally clothed self. All traces of his disguise were gone. He ambled back to our section of the terminal, holding the eyeliner, foundation, and carry-on bag that started this whole adventure. We sobered up by the time Emmett came back.

No one said a word as Emmett took his seat, looking satisfied with himself. It was only Jacob who wasn't giving Emmett a 'WTF' look, because he was fanning Nessie.

Jasper finally spoke.

"Why the banana hammock?"

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**REVIEW!**


	15. He Demanded A Cart

HI! I have written two chapters because I have just been really preoccupied with school…SO preoccupied with school. So, I'm going to try and pop out a minimum of two chapters a month. Lame, but I'm trying.

Disclaimer: 나는 황혼을 소유하지 않습니다. ( I do not own Twilight)

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**Bella POV:**

The security is still scouring the area for 'Borat'. And I am still wondering how Emmett was able to hose himself off in less than five minutes. I know he's got vampire speed and all, but have you seen airport bathrooms? Those sinks are so small. Emmett is very…not small. How did he…never mind.

Our flight got delayed again. It was rescheduled for 6 PM. Meaning, my family and I will have to stay at this airport for another seven hours. Oh joy. Jacob has been nonstop complaining about the lack of food. There are a lot of airport restaurants he can go to, but he says he's "craving McDonald's." I don't know when Jacob turned into a pregnant woman, but whatever. I just want him to shut up. Even Nessie is getting tired of Jacob's whining.

We are sitting back by our terminal. I was sitting in Edward's lap, with my face buried in his chest. His head was thrown back against the chair. We were sharing ear buds to listen to Debussy on his iPod. Esme and Carlisle were doing today's crossword together. Alice and Leah were braiding Rosalie's hair. Jasper and Emmett were having a staring contest. Since they both have no need to blink, the first one to look away loses. Jacob was still whining about how we were 'trying to end him by starvation because he's the only one who looks good with a tan' while Nessie was in the fetal position, probably due to seeing her uncle and all his pubes crammed into that banana hammock. Zari was glaring at the airport television. Isaac, Nali, and Lani were actually watching the TV program. I think it was Awkward from MTV. Seth, Zane and Nathan were refereeing Jasper and Emmett's contest.

Suddenly, Jacob stopped talking (thank God) and began sniffing randomly. I can just sense a sarcastic comment coming from someone in three…two…

"Jacob, trust me. There are no Scooby Snacks in the airport, so stop sniffing. You look like a cocaine addict," Rosalie deadpanned. I couldn't help but smile at this. Neither could Edward, Jasper, Lani, or Seth.

"Can it, Blondie. I think I smell McDonald's!" Jacob exclaimed before her ran off with Renesmee's purse.

I could almost see his tail wagging in excitement.

I felt Edward sigh. I looked up at him, meeting his deep topaz eyes. He smiled at me.

"Are you okay?" I asked, wondering why he sighed.

"Of course," he replied.

"Then why did you sigh?" I saw Edward's eyes flicker with amusement.

"Because I was so happy to be curled up with the woman I love," my husband answered. Aw…

But I'm not buying it.

"What's the real reason?" Edward chuckled at my question.

"You know me too well, love. The reason is because Jacob just spent about two hundred dollars on McDonald's," Edward told me.

"You're kidding." There is no way Jacob could be that fat…mentally, I mean.

"He has 27 bags and nine large sodas."

"How can he carry it all?"

"He demanded a cart."

I paused, dumbstruck. My son-in-law/best friend may be the biggest fatty I have ever known. And he still has a six pack.

This world…

"Is he at least going to share with Leah, Seth, and Renesmee?"

"No. He even thought, and I quote, 'All mine. Everyone can get their own damn food. I paid for this with my own…wife's money, and therefore I am not sharing. Plus, Nessie likes Burger King anyway.'"

Once again, I am rendered speechless.

I saw Jacob come around the corner towards our section near the terminal. As Edward said, he had a cart with him filled with McDonald's. He was grinning like an idiot.

My family and Zari's coven all turned to stare at this appalling sight. Seth's stomach began growling loudly as he made his way to Jacob's food cart. Before Seth could even lift a soda Jacob glared at Seth with an intensity I have never seen before from him.

"Never get between me and my McDonald's," Jacob hissed. Seth backed away with his hands up in the air.

Jacob settled down back in his seat and was munching on his nuggets when something hit me.

"Seth, weren't you supposed to pick up something before you got to the airport?" I inquired, truly curious.

My family, hearing the question, brought their gaze upon Seth, interested in his response.

"Yeah, the bitches," Nathan mumbled.

"What are the bitches?" Leah asked, voicing all my family's thoughts.

"The bitches are two friends of Zari, Lani, and Nali's," Isaac explained coolly.

I was still confused.

"Then why are they called the bitches?" Alice asked.

"Because they're shapeshifters, and Zari thinks that it's funny to call them the bitches because they are female dogs and they are rude people," Nathan continued for Isaac.

"What?" Carlisle shouted, causing several people to peer in on our conversation. Carlisle looked embarrassed, and apologized. All the women over 26 sighed at his voice. Esme growled.

"Well, I think it's a good pun, because they really are bitingly sarcastic people and they are dogs, but girls at the same time," Nathan went on, not noticing Carlisle's outburst.

"No, no. I mean, Zari knows two female shapeshifters?" Carlisle asked exasperatedly.

"Oh, that," Nathan said in an 'aha!' voice. Rosalie rolled her eyes at him.

"What do they look like?" Emmett wondered aloud. Zari laughed cruelly.

"You already met them, Shit for Brains. Remember at my house?"

Recognition flashed in Emmett's eyes. Almost right after that, I saw pain in there too. Wow, I am so in the dark here. Luckily, it's not just me. This must be from the day Carlisle went to confront Zari, and she called on those wolves to attack them.

Leah looked exceptionally interested in the 'bitches'. Oh! Of course, since Leah is the only female shapeshifter she knows of, this must be really exciting for her. Not that she would show it.

Edward's eyebrows furrowed, like they always did when he was thinking about something carefully.

"Well, there were three wolves at Zari's house that day, but you said there were only two girls. If my math skills are correct, three is not equal to two. Who was the third wolf then?"

Isaac's eyes widened for a moment before he opened his mouth to speak…

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**OH! Cliffhanger…REVIEW, DAMMIT. REVIEW.**


	16. Racism in the Airlines!

**Well, this wasn;t much a cliff hanger considering these are back to back chapters…anticlimactic,much?**

**Disclaimer: Don't own, Twilight I.  
**

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_Isaac's eyes widened for a moment before he opened his mouth to speak…_

**Bella POV:**

…and was promptly interrupted by two random girls walking up to where we were sitting. They plopped down next to Emmett and Jasper, making themselves quite comfortable. One girl was in a black hoodie and black jeans, and the other was wearing a black trench coat with black leggings, as well as a black floppy hat. The girl with the hat was looking down, so we could not see her face. Both girls had a magazine with them that they began reading.

My family and the other coven simply stared at the audacity and boldness of the two girls. No human had ever walked up to us like that before. Usually the vibes we gave off naturally prevented confrontation. Jasper squinted at the females, obviously pondering something. Alice and Rosalie, however, instantly looked pissed.

"Great, another group of sluts who think they can take our men," Rosalie whispered so low that only supernatural beings could hear. Alice nodded in response. The two beings snorted simultaneously and lowered their magazines.

"Please, Barbie. We enough sense to not try and pick up vampires at an airport for a dinner date," whispered the girl in the black hoodie.

Zari's eyes lit up. "Alex, Ashley! Took you long enough. You're lucky our flight was delayed or else we would have left your asses here," she said.

Jasper's eyes sparkled with recognition. "You two are the human girls we saw at Isaac's house! You're still alive?" That was a valid question. Edward told me that from the way Zari put it, those girls were going to be sucked dry.

That's when the smell hit us.

Ugh! I watched as Esme, Carlisle, Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper, Edward, Alice, and Nessie scrunched up their faces from the odor. I'm sure my expression was the same. It smells like…Jacob in here. Except, more feminine, like Leah;s scent. It still smells like dog, but it also smells like that dog works at Bath and Body Works or something.

What? It could happen.

These must be the "bitches" we were just talking about. That's the only logical explanation.

"So, these are the bitches. This is Alex, and this is Ashley," Nali explained in a friendly tone. Alex was quite tall, maybe 5'9 or so, and had black hair. It was style in a bob with bangs. Ashley was a couple inches shorter than Alex, maybe 5'6", and looked like she was Asian or a Pacific Islander. They both look bored.

"Hey," Alex muttered.

"What up," Ashley said in a more cheerful, biting tone.

"You are female shapeshifters?" Leah inquired, trying not to sound too eager.

"Yeah," Ashley replied.

"What of it?" Alex questioned defensively.

"It's just that I am too, and I have never met any other girl wolves," Leah snapped in her normally rude tone. Her eagerness was obviously diminished by their nonchalant attitude.

Alex gave Ashley a side glance, which Ashley returned. They smiled at the same time.

"I like this girl," Alex admitted. Leah smiled smugly, and moved over so that she was closer to them. They began chatting away. We resumed our waiting for our flight. I checked the time on Edward's iPod. It's one o'clock. Ugh. Five more hours…

**_FOUR AND A HALF HOURS LATER_**

**Bella POV:**

"Oh, come on!" Jacob yelled for the umpteenth time.

"Sir, I'm sorry. But we cannot allow you to bring your McDonald's onto this aircraft."

"But I got it _in_ the airport!"

This has been going on for the past fifteen minutes. Jacob tried to save some of his food for the plane ride, and now they won't let him carry his food cart on the plane. I love McDonald's when I was human (salads) but I didn't take it this far! Zari and all of the rest her coven already boarded the plane.

"And sir, I told you, you cannot bring your food onto the aircraft, no matter where it came from," the attendant scolded sternly, obviously annoyed.

"I went through security with it, no problem! It's just food!"

Nessie was looking down, ashamed at her husband's behavior. Edward was pinching the bridge of his nose, in his signature, "I'm pissed" look. I, along with everyone else I'm traveling with, just looked bored and aggravated at Jake's attitude. There was a line forming behind us that was huge. We're one of the first on line, so we're holding everybody up.

"Okay, okay! I'll get rid of it!" Jacob finally shouted. Everyone on line, including us, sighed in relief. Jacob took his cart and stormed/rolled off, clearly upset. I was a bit suspicious though. Jake never gives up food.

I heard Edward chuckle next to me. I glanced at him, silently questioning him on his laughter. He pointed to the direction I saw Jacob leave in.

Jacob was huddled in a corner, struggling to quickly put on one of his sweatshirts. After a couple seconds, he put it on correctly and then started literally shoving all the McDonald's he had gotten into his shirt. That's about fourteen or fifteen bags. Once Jacob got all his junk food safely in his sweatshirt, he waddled over back to the line, clutching his stomach. To the normal person it may have looked like he had a stomach ache. But to those with a bit more sense, it was obvious that Jake was trying to keep his food from dropping. He reeked of French fries and desperation.

Jacob reached the front of the line again, since the line was still stagnant.

"Okay, it's all gone," Jacob declared. The attendant looked skeptical.

"What did you do with it all?" The man said, staring at his belly.

"I ate it. Bad stomach ache now. Can I go please?" Jacob pleaded, the smell starting to get him dizzy.

"I don't believe you," the attendant sneered, snubbing his nose.

"Oh for crying out loud," I heard Rosalie mutter. She stepped forward, ready to speak. I assumed she was going to dazzle the man into letting Jake through. I was wrong.

"What, because he's Native American, he must be a liar?" She bellowed, calling the attention of everyone in the terminal to her.

"I-I didn't say tha-"

"Oh, but you implied it. You think just because you're white, it means that you are more important than everybody else and you can step on others because of their race," Rosalie interrupted, putting her hands on her hips.

"I-I-H-He…"

"He what? He was just trying to get something to eat for the plane ride, and got food from your airline to avoid problems. After you make him inhale all of his food, which could lead to several health problems that would be your fault, that he has, you insult the man too? Does your racism know no bounds?" Rosalie hissed.

Wow. I never thought I would see the day when Rose would stand up for Jacob. Even though, technically, she's lying for him because he's already lying, and probably just wants to get on the plane instead fo caring about Jacob, but the gesture is still nice. Jacob, in an effort to make Rosalie's tirade more believable, busted into fake sobs, grabbing onto Edward for support. Edward, who would usually be uncomfortable with this kind of thing played along and embraced Jacob, patting him soothingly on the back while giving the attendant the 'You Should Be Ashamed' look and shaking his head.

"B-B-But you're white, too!" The man retorted, smug. He thought that he had her there.

Rosalie fake-gasped. "I will have you know that I am half black, sir. And I am not ashamed of it. How dare you assume things based on skin color?"

"I-I-I'm sorry, ma'am. Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?" The attendant whispered, defeated.

"Yes, there is. Allow my friend to pass and…give him fifty dollars so that he can get a McDonald's gift card!" Rosalie shouted, emphasizing her words with slamming her hand on his desk.

"I can let him pass, but the fifty dollars part is ridiculous!" The resultant cried. Rosalie reached out to grab the phone on his bureau.

"Then I suppose I can just call your manager and tell him about this situation!"

"Okay, okay, fine. Here!" The male unwillingly handed Jacob fifty dollars, grumbling while doing so.

"And an apology!" Rosalie commanded.

"But-"

"_Now_," she demanded.

"I'm sorry," the assistant mumbled.

Rosalie smiled with satisfaction before waving our family through the gate. We were speechless at Rosalie's outburst. The line behind us looked dumbstruck for a second, until one guy started clapping. It turned into full blown applause in a matter of seconds. Rosalie bowed.

Jacob stayed behind a moment, and wiped at his fake tears.

"It's people like you that make me sick. Good day, sir!"

"But I already apologi-"

"I said _good day_!" Jacob growled, before (fake) storming into the gate.

Jacob muttered thanks to Rose as we sat down in our first class seats by Isaac's coven.

"What took so long?" Zane asked.

"I don't know," Seth said with a dazed look on his face.

We promptly began laughing hysterically, much to their bewilderment.

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**TA-DA! REVIEW!**


	17. What They Don't Know Is That We Know

**Hello! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! I know I have been a crappy author, because of my random updates, but I just mapped out the end of this story. There will be about nine more chapters (this one included), with the final chapter being an epilogue. Everything from this chapter on is the adventure part of this story. Of course, there will be laughs mixed in. Hopefully, this story will be done by February, latest March. I will probably start a new story in April or May.**

**Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I will own Twilight when Edward becomes pregnant with a half mermaid baby.**

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**Bella POV:**

Finally, I thought to myself. We were finally on our way to Brazil. We have been on the plane for about two hours now. I think it's going to be another three hours or so until we get there. My head was in Edward's lap as we shared headphones to watch the in-flight television inside the seats in front of us. We were watching Regular Show. Edward doesn't understand the greatness of the show. When I first discovered this, I seriously considered divorce. I thought we would never get passed it, but eventually Edward tolerated my watching it.

Emmett and Rose were lip locked; not full on making out, but definitely less innocent than a peck. The Haywood coven and the two she-wolves were all sleeping, reading, or watching their TVs. Carlisle and Esme were snuggling, as usual. Alice and Jasper were playing poker with one of Emmett's decks. It's interesting to watch them play, because Alice can see what Jasper will get from the deck, but Jasper can feel her excitement, so he knows when she is bluffing. Very complicated and intriguing. Renesmee was trying to get Jacob to share his food, since Seth was starving to death. Well, not really, but he ate three in-flight meals and they won't give him anymore. He already ate all of ours an hour ago. Leah was listening to her iPod, her head slightly bobbing to the beat of her music.

I heard Edward chuckle above me. One of the characters on the show, Rigby, was getting punched repeatedly. My eyes grew wide as I gazed at my husband.

"You laughed!" I accused him, pointing my finger at him. Edward's smile immediately dropped and turned into a scowl, although I could see the amusement in his eyes.

"I did not," Edward said defensively. I rolled my eyes and snorted. He just doesn't want to admit Regular Show is hilarious.

"I know you did, Edward. It's okay to laugh," I told him patronizingly. I even went so far to pat him on the head. He pouted before muttering, "Shut up."

Our little moment was interrupted when Isaac gasped and clutched his mate's hand. I, along with the rest of our group, looked up at Zari. It was the oddest sight.

Zari's eye was twitching. Rapidly. Usually, vampires only twitch when they are resisting something their body wants, like Jasper when he tried to resist my blood on my birthday. His body demanded it, and as much as he tried to stop, he couldn't.

Isaac was chanting to her. "Zari, Zari, come back. Focus."

"I can't. It's…been…too…long," Zari mumbled back, her words becoming more spaced out as her eye twitched even more. Oh God, when was the last time she hunted? She must be tempted by all the humans. There were over eighty on this flight.

Rosalie had the same train of thought. "Guys, quick, do something. She's going to attack a human." Carlisle and Emmett jumped up, believing Rosalie's prediction, and grabbed Zari's arms. Isaac was forced to drop her hand. The rest of us tensed, ready to pounce if she started to attack.

"Esme, look through my bag. I have a flask of blood in one of the pockets," Carlisle said to his wife. Immediately, she started sifting through his carry-on. Zari's coven remained motionless, as if they were in shocked silence.

Isaac was the only exception. He shoved Carlisle and Emmett's arms out of the way, moving on his knees to stare Zari in the eyes.

"She's not thirsty, make some room," Isaac instructed. Esme dropped the bag and pulled Carlisle and Emmett back towards her. Isaac was still chanting to Zari desperately.

Zari's spasms led to her falling on the ground. Luckily, our first class seats hand enough legroom and space to allow Zari avoid hitting anything but the floor. Small whimpers and growls escaped her chest as her eyes flickered all over the place.

"Bathroom…bathroom," Zari screeched out before letting out a silent scream and slamming her fist on the floor. Isaac immediately scooped her up and jogged to the first class bathroom, leaving us in a stunned silence. A snarl sounded from the bathroom, followed by several ripping sounds.

Jasper tried to make it less awkward. "So…how 'bout them Knicks?" We all looked at him incredulously until he gazed at the ground in embarrassment. Not five minutes later, Isaac and Zari exited the bathroom. Zari was a mess. Her clothes were in tatters, and she had to hold up the remaining scraps of fabrics to cover her…areas. Her hair was a mess and her hands were trembling. Isaac was not as disheveled, although his shirt had several claw marks on it, front and back. He also had scratch markings on his cheek, arms, and shoulders.

I just stared at the two, bewildered. Emmett snickered, comprehension appearing in his eyes. Rosalie looked at her husband, one eyebrow raised.

"What are you laughing about, big boy?" Rose asked.

"Isn't it obvious? What just happened?" He inquired rhetorically, glancing at all of us.

We all shook our heads no. Edward suddenly scoffed and Alice rolled her eyes.

"Zari was experiencing some major sexual frustration that led to her having a breakdown. Isaac had to… _satisfy_ her by helping her join the Mile High Club," my brother-in-law deadpanned. Zari growled I annoyance. She opened her mouth to most likely say a rude remark when she started to sniff frantically.

"Oh no, not again," Nali muttered. Lani smacked her on the thigh, making Nali shriek.

Zari stopped her smelling routine, closed her eyes, and muttered a curse word.

"We need to get the fuck off this plane," she stated plainly.

"Why?" Carlisle questioned, shifting into protective dad/coven leader mode. Alice gasped as she was pulled into a vision.

"The Volturi are on this flight," she said ominously.

"That's why," Zari mumbled.

Esme, Lani, and Lani gasped in shock and fear. The men tensed, while Leah, Rosalie, Nessie, the two weregirls, and I clenched our fists.

"What do you mean 'the Volturi are on this flight?'" Carlisle asked.

"She means that Jane, Alec, Felix, and Demetri are in coach on this airplane," Zari spoke for her.

"Why?" Seth wondered aloud.

"I don't know why they would be here Seth, but they are, and we need to deal with that," Carlisle whispered, rubbing his forehead.

"What's their M.O.?" Emmett pondered.

"They know that we had that girl in our house and they kidnapped her. I don't know why they felt the need to follow us here other than…" Carlisle voiced his thoughts.

"Other than the fact that two large covens are now not only in the same area, but proof-meaning the girl's testimony- that we have been interacting. Maybe Aro is paranoid and thinks that we're conspiring to hurt them. It wouldn't be unlikely, considering our last confrontation. We did just come to this conclusion back at the house," Jasper said, referencing back to when Nessie was born.

"What does that mean for us?" My daughter inquired.

"With Alec on their side, they could easily just desensitize everyone on the plane and kill us all. However, I know for a fact Bella started keeping her shield up as soon as we boarded the plane, so Alec cannot numb- and therefore cannot kill- us until we are at least over water. Once we get over the ocean, they could cause a plane crash, resulting in countless human deaths, and take us out," Edward clarified.

"But we outnumber them!" Leah spat out.

"Yeah, but what they are counting for is that Bella will be so distracted by the plane crash that she will forget her shield and we would be open targets," Edward responded calmly, contrasting his words completely.

"So, who has the upper hand here?" I asked. We really need to figure out a plan. I have no problems keeping my shield up, but if there is a plane crash, I can't promise that I'll be completely focused on my shield. I'd be worried about the humans dying, the werewolves drowning, etc.

"Well, we know that they are on the flight, and they, thanks to Demetri, know that we're on the flight. But what they don't know is that we know that they are on the flight,and consequently, they don't know that we know that they know that we're on the flight. They also don't know that we know what their plan is, so it's us," Zari explained.

The majority of my coven furrowed our eyebrows, attempting to process this information.

"What do we do?" Nathan uttered the question we were all thinking,

"We have to make the plane land before we hit the ocean," Esme answered him.

"That's not a bad idea," Carlisle said in support for his mate.

That's when it hit me.

"I think I have a plan," I whispered while a smug smile slowly spread across my face.

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**How many times did I use the letter 's' in that last sentence?**

**WOOT WOOT! A lot of stuff went down this chapter. I have finals this coming week, and right after I have a vacation. So, I'm hoping to post three more chapters before February. I am so sorry about the posting schedule, it's just that waking up at 5:30 AM every day and coming hope twelve hours later is so tiring, especially with a bunch of homework on my back. That's no excuse though, and I swear to God this story will be so great that you FORGET all of the posting issues.**

**REVIEW!**


	18. Water, Anyone?

**Okay, you guys. You have a complete reason to want to kill me. I would kill me. I never wanted to be that author who goes half a year without updating because it is an insult to the reader to deprive him/her of another installment of a story he/she had no obligation to read. You guys didn't have to review my stories, favorite them, or follow them. You chose to. I am so sorry I haven't updated. **

**One reason (not an excuse, but a reason) is that my view of writing has changed. I am not a writer. I am an artist. I love expressing my creativity in any and all forms. That's why I pursue singing, acting, writing, decorating, designing, etc. Do I think I am the best writer? No. I write fanfiction not only to explore the world of a beloved series, but to improve my skills. I have read thousands of fanfictions since I got an account. I have seen awful stories, beautiful stories, and everything in between. I'll never be one of the great writers—I've known that since the beginning. But I want to be the best I can be. So, I will be reconstructing some of my stories over the next six months. None will be taken down, just edited. I'll probably send you a heads-up on them. **

**Alright, author's note done. ENJOY MAH STORY.**

**Bella POV:**

"No. I am not doing it," Edward told me for what seemed like the billionth time.

I pouted. "Come on, don't you love me? Don't you want me to be happy?" I asked. He rolled his eyes and sighed. He leaned forward from his seat to be nose to nose with me.

"You know I do. I would do anything for you, love," Edward whispered. The sweet smell of his breath almost made me dizzy. Almost.

"Then can you please-," I started.

"Except that," he quipped. He kissed my nose and smiled cheekily. I took a deep breath.

I decided on a new tactic. I never wanted to resort to this, but my dear husband has forced me.

I turned away for a moment to link eyes with Alice. She nodded minutely, telling me my plan will work. I discreetly pulled down my shirt, causing the V-neck to plunge down even farther. I faced Edward again.

"Edward, please? For me?" I slid to the edge of my seat and sat up straight. I brought my arms up to braid my fingers together in a begging gesture. My biceps made my already visible cleavage-thank God for push-up bras- even more attention grabbing. Edward's eyes flickered from my face to my chest to my face again. I saw his smile falter a bit.

"I would really appreciate it," I added, raking my hands lightly through his hair. Edward sighed contentedly. I continued with this for a few more seconds, until I brought my right hand to stroke his face while my left hand drew lazy circles on his muscled chest. I heard Edward's breathing pick up.

I slowly got up. I purposely let my cell phone fall to the floor. Edward was too caught up in my trap to notice, although he did notice my next move. I spun around and bent over at the waist to pick up my phone. I made sure to drag out the movement, so Edward could take in the view.

I straightened up and plopped down on his lap. He groaned, and I giggled when I felt _him_ under me.

"Okay, this needs to stop. I am seconds away from projectile vomiting," my darling daughter said sarcastically. I could hear the underlying disgust in her voice. I snickered, along with the rest of my family, but continued with my seduction.

"Are you sure you don't want to do it?" I questioned, making sure to keep my lips right by his ear. Edward shuddered and cleared his throat.

"Y-Yes," he replied semi-sternly. I could practically see him falling apart.

"Positive?" I asked in the most enticing voice I could muster. I placed one hand on this inside of his thigh. I nipped at his ear.

"Fine, fine! I'll do it, you succubus," Edward moaned out nervously. I fist-pumped.

Perfect.

"You know the plan, rig-," I began before Edward's lips crushed mine. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me down slightly. It felt like I was being dipped. I responded enthusiastically to his embrace, allowing his tongue to slide into my mouth to dance with mine. I snaked my arms around his neck. The kiss was so passionate and loving; if I could still pass out, I would've.

Edward pulled away after two minutes. I think it was due to Nessie's exaggerated gagging noises. He lifted me off of his lap and put me back in my seat. I watched him exit the first class cabin. I waited patiently.

Forty seconds later, I heard the screams.

EDWARD POV:

I clutched my chest with both hands as I fell to my knees. I was in the middle of the coach aisle. I was hyperventilating. My blinking was out of control. I could feel my stomach flip-flopping, and my thighs shaking irrepressibly. I was mumbling incoherently.

What can I say? I am a good actor when I need to be.

Two female flight attendants rushed up to me. One was a dark-skinned young woman with obviously dyed red hair. She looked to be in her late twenties. The other looked about one or two years younger than her, and was fair skinned with blonde hair. I could smell the dye in her hair as well. They were both panicked and flustered. I suppose the crisis training the flight crew was put through didn't cover how to react to a passenger in distress…

"Oh my God, what's wrong with him? Is he bleeding?" The blonde haired girl asked. My eyebrows furrowed during my convulsions. Am I bleeding? Do you see any blood?

_Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my GOD! I knew I shouldn't have skipped those stupid emergency classes!_

That's reassuring.

_Ugh, if this guy dies, I am so fired._

If I could face-palm right now, I would.

"No, there isn't any blood. It looks like he's having some sort of panic or asthma attack. Sir, can you hear me?" The red-haired woman called out.

Well, at least someone is trying.

_I cannot have another passenger die on me. That'll be my fourth one this year._

Nevermind…I am disturbed. I noticed the passengers around me were looking on in fear. Two women were even crying. The men looked generally concerned, although none of them were medically qualified. The children just seemed to sense the tension in the air.

"Maybe we should take off his shirt? To, you know, cut off all restrictions?" The blonde suggested.

_He is hot-even when he's dying. Maybe I can just squeeze his…_

Really? A man is having (well, faking) a heart attack in front of you and your main objective is copping a feel?

"Yeah, maybe you're right. Maybe we can check his pulse?" The dark skinned woman-who's name appeared to be Antonia- said.

Oh no. Time to act.

"Heart…attack…need…CPR…" I stammered, falling on my back.

"Okay, I'll get him some water," the blonde girl decided. WHAT? Is this girl stupid? Who gives a person water mid-heart attack? I need CPR, not Poland Springs!

"What? Are you insane? He's barely breathing! Do you want to drown him? Christy, he needs a doctor. Is there a doctor on board?" Antonia spoke hurriedly. Carlisle broke through the curtain separating first class and coach.

"I'm a doctor. What is going on with this man I do not know in any way, shape, or form?" Carlisle asked robotically.

Wow, Carlisle. Do you know the definition of the word overkill?

_I admit, Edward. I messed up on that one._ Carlisle's thoughts were now present in my mind.

"He's having a heart attack. What should we do?" Antonia wondered. She was supporting my head in her lap.

_I wonder if this guy's single…WAIT, FOCUS, ANTONIA. HE'S DYING._

I have no hope for mankind.

"I bet he needs water, right doctor?" Christy interjected. What? Is she still talking about the water?

"Christy, will you stop it with the water?" Antonia shouted at her co-worker.

"Um…okay. The plane will have to land to the nearest hospital. For right now, he can't breathe. I'll have to perform CPR," Carlisle dictated.

"Will you need water for that, sir?" Christy inquired. What is with this woman and the water?

Carlisle stared at her incredulously for a moment. She grew defensive.

"What? Give me a break! All I know about this job is handing out shitty headphones and giving out water!" Christy exclaimed as her face grew red.

"Christy,_ FORGET ABOUT THE DAMN WATER AND GO TELL THE FLIGHT CREW TO LAND THE PLANE_!" Antonia bellowed. Christy huffed and marched to the cockpit.

Carlisle was going through the motions of CPR as I faked some recovery. I heard the pilot's message through the speakers.

BELLA POV:

"Attention, passengers, due to a medical emergency we will be landing prematurely in Valencia, Venezuela. This flight will resume approximately three hours after landing. We are sorry for your inconvenience."

Mission accomplished.

The speaker crackled again. One of the pilots must've accidentally hit the button.

"What? Why would I…Christy, I don't want water! NO MEANS NO!"

I sighed.

**So, there it is…I will have more soon hopefully.**

**Who's going to see Dark Night Rises? I know it's not just me…**

**REVIEW LIKE CRAZYYYYY!**


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